Congratulations! If you’re reading this, then you survived the first game day of 2017. Although, just because you survived doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re thriving. If you took “Go Beers” a little too seriously last Saturday, fear not! We at the Clog can help you revive yourself after a weekend of partying. Read on to help your body heal, just in time for next weekend!
Eat something wholesome
Get some real food in your system! Don’t let any of that Soylent nonsense anywhere near your body as you recover. Instead, listen to what your body says it needs. Is it saying salad, or is it saying Top Dog? We’re willing to bet it’s saying Top Dog.
Head to a pure place on campus
Looking for a location without any debauchery? Soda Hall is just the place for you. Surrounded by EECS nerds, you needn’t fear that anyone will talk about alcohol, drugs, partying or anything fun! Just bask in the glow of the computer screens and turn your thoughts to anything but your raucous weekend.
Confess your sins
If you need absolution, head over to Valley Life Sciences Building and write out the sordid tale of your game day experience on a bathroom stall. Thousands will read it, but no one will know it was you. Your confessions will eventually be overwritten by an angry vegan, allowing them to disappear just like your memory did on game day!
Detox your body
Make sure you get some vitamins and minerals back in your body! This goes along with the eating healthy tip. Try out green juice, a vegetable-based smoothie or some nice green tea! If that fails, at least make sure your weekend boba is a fruit-flavored one. Passion fruit syrup has vitamin C, right?
Rest and relax
Kick back and relax for once! For the few days after game day, your rest is vital. Don’t feel bad about skipping a meeting, a lecture, or a workout … or all of your meetings, lectures, and workouts. You deserve it!
Don’t worry if you went a little too hard last weekend, Bears. Everything, including game day-induced liver damage, is fixable! Just make sure to follow our tips, and we’ll see you out and about on the next game day.
Contact Jamie Campbell at [email protected].