Football season is alive and well, and it is a beautiful thing to behold. There may be some among you who are dubious of the merits of this great American sport, so we at the Clog have compiled a list of reasons why you should give it a shot.
Going to football games has nothing to do with football
It is true that football games are technically a sporting event, but people who profess that watching the game is the primary purpose of attending are filthy liars. Game Day is much more than that. It is not even necessary to know how to play. “But I’m a nerd,” you may say, “there’s no place for athletics in my life.” Not to worry, you need not forfeit your nerd status to attend.
For the LOLs
Memorial Stadium is the prime location for some of the funniest moments you will ever have. It is one of the few socially acceptable locations in which drunk people can congregate and literally yell about anything. Football culture is a spectacle that you have to experience for yourself.
The off-chance you might see Oski
Your first Oski selfie is life-changing!
The off-chance you might see Carol Christ
Your first Carol Christ selfie is life-changing!
For the love of Cal
Contemporary heretics would have us believe that UC Berkeley is not actually the greatest school on the planet (crazy, huh?). Attending football games is one way we can show the world just how wrong they are. Supporting the Cal football team (along with the band, dance team, cheerleaders, the rally committee, etc.) is itself an act of love.
It temporarily distracts you from the fact that life is short and nothing matters
Listen, death is inevitable; we are all destined for decay, and ultimately, we are slaves of Entropy. You could argue that football is pointless, but come on, everything is inherently pointless given that the sun’s imminent death will bring about the end of human existence. Every once in awhile, you need to indulge in something that is a blatant act of rebellion against all these social structures that tell us that the meaning of life is to make your name matter, and the best way to do that is to spend a few hours on a Saturday watching muscled men running around on 100 yards of fake grass fighting over a deformed ball.
It makes you feel warm inside
Football is probably not the most important thing in the world. But when you’re standing on the bleachers, and you hear your voice drowned in a the sonic sea of “Go Bears,” it’s hard not to feel a sense of solidarity. It’s hard not to feel a little proud about being a Golden Bear, and that kind of joy is priceless.
We at the Clog hope you give football a shot this fall, we know you’ll love it!
Contact Edrick Sabalburo at [email protected].