How to study for your midterms, according to your horoscope

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SEPTEMBER 25, 2017

Horoscopes signs are usually used to predict our lives in the near future (aka midterm season), but as our lovable duo from the childhood favorite movie “The Road to El Dorado,” said, “Stars! … Can’t do it. … Not today.” If this doesn’t describe your life during midterm season, what are you doing? To ensure smooth sailing through this testing season, see what your best study strategy is according to your sign.

Capricorn: Dec. 23 – Jan. 20

Stay up until 3 a.m. and get distracted by Facebook. You can still say you were productive though, because you were up until 3 a.m. “studying for o-chem.”

Aquarius: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

Rewatch all the lectures at double speed for one class while making a cheat sheet for another class. When it comes to multitasking, Aquariuses always prevail. Then, you can hang out with your chummies afterward, since there’s extra time.

Pisces: Feb. 18 – March 20

Start studying for midterms at most two days before. Take a couple of practice midterms and, in the midst of the process, realize that you’re wasting time and that a good night’s rest is the key to inadvertently ruining the curve for everyone else (by the way, thanks).

Aries: March 20 – April 20

Do as many practice problems as possible because that’s what everyone and their mom says to do to guarantee success. Of course, as an Aries, you refuse to settle for anything less.

Taurus: April 20 – May 21

As motivation to get your booty in the library, make a wish list for your favorite clothing store and, after passing all your midterms, reward yourself by maxing out your credit cards for those Gucci slides.

Gemini: May 21 – June 21

Try to start off by studying for one class but then get distracted by worrying about a completely unrelated concept (maybe even linger on the thoughts about your own mortality?). You’re constantly cycling through different classes and end up either hitting the gym or getting completely wasted in order to cope.

Cancer: June 21 – July 23

Pace yourself throughout the day, making sure you have enough Hot Cheetos, plus a little extra, to fuel you. The fire that forms in your stomach will carry you through to your last midterm.

Leo: July 23 – Aug. 23

Complain about your professor teaching content that seems way too extra with your friends. Get boba afterward to quench your thirst and then set up camp in Moffitt Library.

Virgo: Aug. 23 – Sept. 23

Use this opportunity to turn a new leaf and search up “effective study techniques for college students.” One strategy that you may come across is the Pomodoro technique. If you give it a try, then you’ll mostly likely end up loving it. Yay, studying!

Libra: Sept. 23 – Oct. 23

Sit under a tree on Memorial Glade and soak up the sunlight while reviewing notes and watching all the midterm-frenzied freshman pass by. As a Libra, you’ll know when it’s time to take a break.

Scorpio: Oct. 23- Nov. 22

Wake up early to study, study for 10 minutes, go back to sleep, repeat.

Sagittarius: Nov. 22 – Dec. 22

Take out your homework, notes, flashcards, highlighter, pencils, pens, etc., and lay them out in a half-circle in front of them. You’ve already planned your study schedule and are ready to focus for the next few hours.

No matter what star sign you are, midterms are a bitch. Good luck!


Contact Malvika Singhal at 


SEPTEMBER 25, 2017