Things at UC Berkeley that are scarier than the movie ‘It’

Isabella Schreiber/Staff

Everyone’s been talking about it. By “it”, I mean “It” — the supernatural horror film radiates with shape-shifting, murder and a freakish Pennywise. It doesn’t get much scarier than that.

Here at the Clog, however, that’s a challenge we’ve decided to take on. Below we’ve compiled a list of nine things at Berkeley that are undeniably scarier than the movie “It.”

The protests

At Berkeley, everyone has something to say, and every now and then, the protests can get a little out of hand. Pro tip: get some extra steps in your daily walking routine as you take a longer route to avoid the political activism on campus. Then, when you safely make it back to your room, give your mom a call to let her know you’re okay (but make sure to raise your voice if you want to be heard over the cloud of helicopters!)

Rejection

When you first arrived at Berkeley, you probably realized that you’ve entered a whole new world of competition. You walked through your first Calapalooza as an eager freshman and picked up more flyers than you could fit into your complimentary ASUC-sponsored drawstring. Then you applied to about four of the 15 clubs you said you would, and then the emails started rolling in: “We regret to inform you … .” This frightening message is probably one that we’ve all received at one point or another, but once you’ve had the chance to process it, just cry a little and wallow in self-pity, then apply again!

The line at Crossroads

As the saying goes, “Good things come to those who wait.” As it is a classic place to spend your meal points, most would agree that Crossroads is worth a bit of a wait. But at what point does that wait get too long? If you need to grab a jacket because you know you’ll have to spend a good 20 minutes on the sidewalk before getting through the door, chances are, the line is just too long.

Your coffee addiction

College is a great time to focus on your academics, experience new social opportunities and — you guessed it — compromise your sleep! Not everybody comes to Berkeley as a devoted coffee drinker. Yet we’ll all have that moment, as we’re hopelessly cramming for a final in the middle of the night, when we’ll succumb to the perilous pleasures of caffeine.

Berkeley hills

If you haven’t made it to the RSF yet, don’t even worry. We Bears make up for our lack of exercise at the gym through all the hills that we climb walking from class to class. If you don’t believe me, check out that mad muscle you probably built on your calves. That should be enough reason not to make a formal workout routine. Maybe.

Discussion sections

Lectures can range anywhere between 100 to 700 people — without a doubt, an intimidating climate. Still, nobody acknowledges how terrifying discussion sections are. We don’t care how on top of your work you think you are. If you do all your reading, you’re lying. Sitting through discussion with the paralyzing fear that you might get called on any second is a pretty traumatic experience.

8 a.m. classes

No matter how intricately you plan out your schedule, you’ll probably have to schedule an 8 a.m. at some point in your college career. Just be prepared for that bewildering moment when you first wake up to your alarm, your head is pounding and you’re pretty sure you’ve seen the insides of hell. Calm down, it’s just your 8 a.m.

The seal

You probably already heard it when you first toured UC Berkeley, but we’re going to tell you again. Don’t step on the seal by Memorial Glade. Avoid it like your life depends on it because believe us, it does. If you step on the seal, forfeit any hope you’ve ever had of achieving a 4.0. Just don’t do it.

Your GPA

The scariest of all is absolutely your GPA because, let’s face it, whether or not you step on the seal, you’re not going to get a 4.0. Ever heard of grade deflation? And yeah, don’t forget you go to the No. 1 public university in the world (at least in our hearts, this is still true).

Contact Shaked Salem at [email protected].