There’s no question that Berkeley is home to some of the best college dining in the country. I mean, chile corn pizza topped with feta at Sliver? Did I just win the lottery?
We’re blessed, without a doubt. But having these exquisite food options in such close proximity puts us Bears at constant risk of developing the notorious freshman 15 (and I’m pretty sure this isn’t a condition selective only to first-years). We at the Clog are here to tell you that it’s absolutely crucial that we treat ourselves only when we are wholly certain that we’ve earned it. To help you out, we’ve come up with a list of things that are definitely worth celebrating with a generous slice of pizza and more.
Celebrate replying to a text with CREAM
People seem to underestimate what time constraints come with being a full-time college student. We absent-mindedly open our messages to get rid of that obnoxious notification symbol, and we end up forgetting to respond altogether. But hey, if you manage to send a simple “thanks” or “okay!” within 48 hours of receiving a text, that’s cause for going out and getting yourself a stacked snickerdoodle sundae at Cream.
Treat yo’self for hitting the class average with Mezzo
We can all agree — there are few things better than knowing that you’re average. At a school where everybody walks around with a daunting determination in their eyes and a startling self-confidence (that at least they claim to have), it’s pretty easy to get it ingrained in your mind that you’re wildly out of your league here. And there’ll be times when you take an exam and you score well below the class average. But for those times that you do score the average, congrats! You did it. You are average. Now go get that monster Mezzo sandwich you’ve been craving.
Pat yourself on the back for (almost) making it to class on time with Philz Coffee
It takes serious willpower to cut a lunch date short or leave your friend’s dorm early and head to your class at Li Ka Shing. We call that dedication. Getting there within five to seven minutes of your class starting time definitely warrants a Philz famous Mint Mojito. Within five to seven minutes of Berkeley time, that is.
Get hyped after SparkNote-ing the books you didn’t have time to read at Strada
We don’t expect you to get through all your assigned reading. Your teachers don’t expect you to get through all your reading. It’s just not possible. But if you showed enough commitment to look up the summaries on SparkNotes so you can cop some extra participation points, you really went above and beyond. Your GSIs should be treating you for that one — we recommend you get Caffe Strada’s chai latte.
Have a party for making it big on the meme page at Thai Basil
Here at UC Berkeley, we boast 27 libraries, the third-tallest bell tower in the world and of course, the No. 1 meme page. The Facebook page draws more than 116,000 users, many of which aren’t even UC Berkeley students. Having your latest post go viral is a big deal. Even more impressive is if you become a meme without even trying. That calls for some Thai Basil if you ask us.
High-five yourself for getting through Sproul without being handed a flyer while going to Elmwood Cafe
If you make it from the border of campus to Sather gate unharassed by an eager club leader, we applaud you. That merits an Elmwood’s hot chocolate for sure.
Celebrate finding a seat at Moffitt with YoPo
Do we even have to mention this? If you find any available square inch at this student’s favorite library, you’ve succeeded. Get yourself a large cup of YoPo. Don’t cheap out on the toppings, either.
Enjoy making it through Channing Circle without being hit by a car with Little Gem
Drivers here often seem to forget this is a college campus, and the ridiculous amount of unmonitored jaywalking doesn’t help. If you cross any intersection and make it to the other side alive, good job. And if you get through Channing Circle without a scratch, you’re a real rockstar. Little Gem, anyone?
Shout “hurrah” for remembering to eat in between classes with a Kingpin donut in hand
This one’s a double win. You get to reward yourself for having food with more food. But seriously, it can be hard to take time out of your busy schedule to stop at GBC and order yourself a luscious quesadilla. But if you’ve managed to do that much, take some more time out of your day and help yourself to a sugary, glazed Kingpin donut. Trust us, you won’t regret it.
Rejoice getting out of bed by heading straight to Asian Ghetto
Finally, if you got out of bed today, go you. Extra points if you took your hair out of that messy bun you slept in and left your fuzzy slippers behind. Go over to the Asian Ghetto and buy yourself the first thing you see. You deserve it.
Here at the Clog, we like to recognize the little things, and what better way to honor that than with one of Berkeley’s favorite eateries?
Contact Shaked Salem at [email protected].