What Apple could have spent its time on besides creating iPhone 8

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OCTOBER 12, 2017

Over the years, Apple has brought us countless versions of the iPhone. No matter how many software updates or improved cameras Apple give us, it never really seems like there are many changes between each phone. Now, we have the iPhone 8, which honestly just leaves us all wondering what improvements Apple could have invested their time in other than making this incredible (but not revolutionary) piece of technology.

From the time that the iPhone 7 Plus was released until now, here are 10 things on which  Apple could have spent their time rather than creating the iPhone 8.

  1. Here is a wild idea — make phones that work for longer than two years … or however long it takes for you to make a new iPhone.
  2. Hire writers to be more descriptive in your software update information instead of just telling us “bug fixes.”
  3. Fix the headphone jack on the iPhones 7 and 8, because no one is into that.
  4. Hire UC Berkeley grads in every department because it’s just a good idea and they will probably make products with actual improvements.
  5. Maybe just give us the phones pre-cracked, because it’s going to shatter anyways. Or if you want to be really innovative, just make a phone that doesn’t shatter when it falls two feet.
  6. Help the UC Berkeley Financial Aid and Scholarships Office make an online system that disperses their money on time.
  7. Throw a cool music festival, because it would just be cool (plus, it’s a gold mine — you’re welcome).
  8. Make Chancellor Carol Christ her own app so she can update it instead of blasting all 30,000+ students at UC Berkeley with countless e-mails.
  9. Buy Netflix (or let Google do it, because one of you will take over the world anyways) and add the third “High School Musical” movie. Why would Netflix just give us the first two? That’s just a cruel cliffhanger.
  10. Ask the Illuminati to stop all the bad stuff going on in the world. We all know y’all are tight.

Of course, Apple will probably just continue producing crackable glass rectangles, but hey, we can at least dream.

Contact Hailey Johnson at 


OCTOBER 11, 2017