daily californian logo


Ring in the New Year with our 2023 New Year's Special Issue!

Choose your own Friday the 13th adventure

article image



We're an independent student-run newspaper, and need your support to maintain our coverage.

OCTOBER 13, 2017

[listquiz]We’ve all had those days. You know, the ones where absolutely nothing seems to go right. No matter what you do, how much you study or how much coffee you have, you can’t seem to shake the bad luck. With Friday the 13th approaching, we at the Clog want to anticipate for the worst — try our quiz to see if you can make it through the worst day a UC Berkeley student could ever face. It’s filled with nightmarish twists, turns and late Phase 1 enrollment times. So beware, this “choose your own adventure” is not for the faint of heart.

  1. You wake up at 6:00 a.m. to the sound of your roommate’s alarm clock going off, but they’ve already left and you’d have to climb down from your bunk to turn it off. Do you …
    1. Get down, turn it off and go back to sleep 
    2. Put your blankets over your head and try to tune out the noise 
    3. Get down, turn it off and go to Moffitt to cram for your midterm that day. 
  2. You get to the GBC and you desperately need coffee, but the line for Peet’s is going out the door. You see a kid from your sociology class last semester. Do you …
    1. Get in the back of the line and hope you don’t miss your midterm. 
    2. Risk going up to the kid, starting a conversation and hope they let you stay in line with them. 
    3. Just grab a Starbucks iced coffee from the fridge.
  3. It’s 9:08 a.m. and you’re running as fast as you can from the GBC to Pimentel where your midterm is going to start at 9:10. Your hand drops your coffee and it spills all over you. Do you …
    1. Keep running. Midterm season waits for no one. 
    2. Try to clean yourself up in the bathroom really quickly. 
    3. Drink whatever’s left of your coffee, wipe yourself off and calmly walk to class because time is a social construct.
  4. So the midterm went terribly and you’re feeling pretty awful. You see your crush from the class and ask them how the midterm went. They look warily at your coffee stained clothes and tell you they thought the midterm was pretty easy. Do you …
    1. Crack a joke about how you probably failed and nonchalantly explain your coffee fiasco this morning. 
    2. Try to feign confidence about the midterm and attempt to play it cool.
    3. Burst into tears because it’s only 10 a.m. and everything has gone wrong and there’s nothing you can do to fix it. 
  5. Your crush is not impressed with your attempts at a conversation and makes a break for the exit. Bummer. Do you …
    1. Text your friends about how your crush is trash, and you’ve given up on love forever. 
    2. Go home, watch Netflix, stuff yourself with chips and sit in misery for an hour. 
    3. Scroll through Tinder to try and validate yourself.
  6. Your Phase 1 enrollment is also today, which just so happens to be the last day. Every class you want is either closed or waitlisted. Do you …
    1. Quickly try to figure out another schedule that doesn’t require you to be waitlisted. It’s not an ideal schedule but at least you’ll be enrolled. 
    2. Suck it up and allow yourself to be waitlisted for everything. 
    3. Run to the advising office crying, and beg them to tell you what to do. 
  7. You go to Crossroads for an early dinner, looking forward to the chicken nuggets on the menu. You’re waiting in line for what seems like forever when suddenly, a group of frat boys cuts you in line. You haven’t eaten all day and your patience is wearing incredibly thin. Do you … 
    1. Confront them and start an argument. You’re entitled to some chicken nuggets, not a bunch of entitled boys!
    2. Glare at them so that they feel really awful for wronging you like this. 
    3. Say nothing and just keep waiting. It’s really not worth making a scene.
  8. So after that debacle you go to Moffitt to finish an essay that’s due at 11:59 p.m.. You have most of it done, you just need to put on the finishing touches. You open up your laptop, open up the file and all you have is a thesis. You had completely forgotten to save it last night! Do you…
    1. Decide you’ll just take an L on this one and log onto Facebook.
    2. Cry for an hour, call your mom and then get started on your essay before it’s too late.
    3. Take a deep breath, get a quick outline going of what you can remember and then work all afternoon and night.
  9. It’s 12:15 a.m., your essay has been submitted and all you want to do is sleep. You’re about to pass out on your bed when you realize you have another midterm tomorrow that you’ve barely studied for! Do you …
    1. Go to sleep. You’re over it. 
    2. Study all morning until the test takes place. 
    3. Take a nap for an hour, study for two and then repeat the cycle.
    1. Congratulations! You made it through this terrible-no-good-very-bad day. You ended up getting a B on your first midterm and an A on your second, your class crush texted asking you if you wanted to grab coffee sometime and you got a C on your essay but your GSI said they’d give you extra credit at the end of the semester to make up for it. You also managed to figure out a schedule that wouldn’t mess up your plan to graduate on time. Overall, a pretty desirable outcome.
    2. So you didn’t quite make it through the day with the results you wanted, but the results weren’t horrible. You passed all your midterms and your crush sat next to you in your section and asked for your number. You didn’t get a very good grade on your essay, but it’s only worth 10% of your grade so your GSI said not to be too worked up over it. You got off the waitlist for one of the classes you wanted. You just scraped by but you survived!
    3. Sorry friend, you didn’t make it through the day successfully. You only passed one midterm and your essay was a disaster. Your class crush ignores you when you try to talk to them, you got stuck with all 8 a.m. classes and now you probably won’t graduate in time. But it’s fine! This is just a quiz that has no bearing on real life, so don’t worry, this is just a nightmare and you can wake up now. It’ll never be this bad (we hope).



Contact Sunny Sichi at [email protected].

OCTOBER 12, 2017