What Gordon Ramsay would say about various Crossroads dishes

Xinyu Li/Senior Staff

Through shows such as “Hell’s Kitchen” and sites like Twitter, we’ve come to know and appreciate Gordon Ramsay’s fiery temper and (harsh yet hilarious) insults. If he criticizes professional chefs so harshly, just imagine what he’d say about the mass-produced food at Crossroads. We at the Clog were curious, so we’ve taken his past comments and applied them to dining hall food. We hope you idiot sandwiches enjoy.

If he reviewed the whole wheat pasta:

My gran can do better! And she’s dead!” Ramsay would probably take issue with the whole wheat pasta

When critiquing the Crossroads chefs on the black bean burger:

One of the most famous of Ramsay quotes: calling a chef an idiot sandwich. Ramsay wouldn’t appreciate the fact that the burgers’ buns aren’t always toasted.  

What he’d say to whomever made the oatmeal:

“I’ve never, ever, ever, ever met someone I believe in as little as you.” Ramsay’s very picky about how his oats are made, since he eats them on a daily.

If he spoke (non-sarcastically) to the guy who makes the Vegan scones:

Do you want a fucking medal?” If the vegan scones were as good as Crossroads’ are, Gordon Ramsay couldn’t insult them with good conscience.

When discussing the scrambled eggs:

Either “your scrambled eggs looks like a pan full of rubber bullets” or “this is NOT how you cook scrambled (eggs).” Maybe this is just our bias about scrambled eggs at Crossroads, but probably not.

As far as the mashed potatoes go:

Not Bad.” Seriously, they’re one of the best things at Croads.

When he sees that Croads doesn’t serve sandwiches:

Idiot sandwich right there!”

As funny as Gordon’s imagined criticisms are, we all know Croads has some great food. Even if Ramsay would (probably) disagree with the idea of food produced on a mass scale, us hungry students unquestionably appreciate it. We at the Clog recognize that Crossroads is more than a Gordon Ramsay meme: it’s a dining experience.

Contact Melany Dillon at [email protected].