The quiz to end all quizzes: Which Clog quiz are you?

Elaine Chung/Staff

Writers at the Clog are encouraged to link to other Clog articles so as to trap readers in an ever-tightening spiral of consuming Daily Cal content and to induce a feeling of “Clog-strophobia.” This particular Clog writer, however, has not been doing so. As a solution, here is a quiz that will answer your most deeply held question: Which Clog quiz am I? (And yes, this is satire …)

  1. What is your major?
    1. CS (computer science)
    2. CS (cognitive science)
    3. CS (Celtic studies)
    4. Meme Studies
  2. What do you value most?
    1. Pragmatism. Anything that does not have practical value should be removed (e.g. my appendix, bones in my ice, the Oxford comma)
    2. Pleasure. Namely, sustenance in the form of snacks. I like snacks.
    3. Love. It conquers everything.
    4. Laughter. It distracts from the pain of existence.
  3. Which sentence best describes Oski?
    1. He is a necessary evil, because we can’t not have a mascot and he’s the best we got.
    2. He is the primary reason I attend UC Berkeley.
    3. He is the Platonic ideal of a bear.  
    4. He is a great meme.
  4. Who is the most iconic duo?
    1. Joebama
    2. French fries and smoothies
    3. Troy and Gabriella
    4. Sharkboy and Lavagirl
  5. What kind of music do you listen to?
    1. Only classical music for my ears.
    2. I have a diverse selection of music. It really just depends on my mood — except for country music. Soundcloud rappers are especially cool.
    3. Nothing beats a good old fashioned sappy love song.
    4. Smash Mouth. Sometimes Nickelback.
  6. How’s your future looking?
    1. I see a Nobel Prize coming in a few years.
    2. I have a pretty good idea of what I want to do.
    3. I know everything will turn out for the best as long as I have someone to share it with.
    4. I definitely peaked in high school.
    1. You are “Which UC Berkeley residence hall should you live in?”.  You are practical and one of the few Clog quizzes which is actually helpful.
    2. You are What kind of potato should you eat?”. You know how to ask important questions, which others may think are irrelevant. Don’t listen to the haters, because deciding what you put in your mouth is a significant struggle for some people, and when potatoes are involved, there are too many options. Spoiler alert: There are no wrong answers.
    3. You are “Should you talk to your new class crush?”. You are a hopeless romantic, you nerd. Good luck protecting that heart of yours. Our advice? Love is weakness; the fewer people you decide to love, the less vulnerable you will be to heartache.
    4. You are “What kind of dad will you be?”. We are not entirely sure how you got here, but we assume that you have a place here. You are the class clown — the meme of your friend group. You provide comic relief in every situation, and at times, a heartfelt moral teaching. Go you.

Contact Edrick Sabalburo at [email protected].