Whether it’s your first or last semester at UC Berkeley, it’s never too late to gain a new friend. Not only do new friends expand your social circle, but they are unlike old friends in that they don’t know how weird you are yet. It’s all an illusion, which makes it that much easier to reel them in. “How do I make friends,” you ask? Well, there’s no better way to make a friend than by making someone laugh. Here’s everything you need to know about being funny and making friends.
If you’re ever at a loss for an opening line, try one of these:
Show them a picture of you from middle school.
Go all out. Share the braces, the acne and the cargo shorts with your new friend. First they will laugh, then you will bond over how horribly awkward you both were. Unless you were one of those kids who looked good in middle school. No one’s going to relate to that.
Tell them your hopes and dreams for the future.
There’s nothing funnier than us actually believing that we’ll succeed. But it may not be as funny to your friend as it is to the universe.
“WHAT I LEARNED IN BOATING SCHOOL IS…”
This is definitely for a specific crowd, but if it works, you’ll legitimately be friends instantly and forever. After all, nothing says friendship like the recognition of a “SpongeBob” reference.
Narrate everything they do in a whisper.
It’ll add a little drama to their day and show them how attentive of a friend you can be. Try to throw some good detail in there, too. For example, “Alexandra opens her notebook delicately to avoid reminding the professor that she came in late and is generally both a huge disruption and disappointment to this course.”
Show them this video:
i pinpointed the exact moment millennial humor became this sort of fucked up weird and vague disturbing humor that is very difficult to understand from the outside looking in. essentially our downward spiral began with this video pic.twitter.com/7ZUBM00f0c
— nick(y) ◟̽◞̽ (@backtoyoubfs) November 27, 2017
Then watch the scene from “The O.C.” when Marissa shoots Trey. That is all.
Tell them you genuinely like “The O.C.”
Seriously, how did this show go on for four whole seasons? If you haven’t heard of “The O.C.,” think of it as basically any other television show centered around a group of wealthy, rebellious teenagers whose parents have secrets of their own. Examples include “90210,” “One Tree Hill,” “Pretty Little Liars” — the list goes on.
Only talk like Sean Connery.
Even if they don’t recognize Connery’s incredible voice, you’ll still sound funny. Plus, it’s probably a good way to weed out the people who haven’t seen “The Untouchables.”
Good luck out there. May the forces of humor and friendship be with you.
Contact Hailey Johnson at [email protected].