Clog report: What the Sun’s been doing when it’s not out

Samantha Cristol/File

This just in: The sun is out yet again.

According to the Clog’s investigators, the sun has made more appearances this week than it did during the entire month of December. Astonishing.

Suspicious of the celestial body, reporters have been burning to ask the question we’ve all been wondering: What has the sun been doing while it hasn’t been out?

In an interview with the Clog, the sun insisted that as a father of a two, he couldn’t be blamed for his for recent lack of attendance in the sky. The Clog team nearly forgot the sun was a dad after all, until he greeted us like so:

CLOG: Hi, Sun! Thank you so much for meeting with us. We’re delighted to speak with you!

SUN: Hi, “delighted to speak with you,” I’m Sun.

When asked what had inspired him to come back to work like this, the Sun replied: “My brother had been urging me to leave the house for a while. It just hasn’t been easy. My wife recently went back to work, which meant I really had to carry my weight around the house.”

The sun also explained that he had been covering car pool for some of the other parents lately, which made the commute exhausting once he had driven the kids all the way to school. The Sun might have been MIA lately, but no one was denying his warm heart.

“Not to mention that my son’s been having trouble with his times tables,” he remarked. “My math skills aren’t very strong, so I’ve been spending a lot of time reviewing the worksheets he gets from class so that I can help him.”

The sun was radiating with positivity, making it difficult not to sympathize with him. Still, the Clog wondered if the Sun realized what an impact he’s had on the entire campus and how much we all need him here. The sun sighed.

“I get that nobody wants to spend the entire day in Moffitt, and I’m happy to be here,” he assured us. “But sometimes life demands a lot from you, and you have to make sacrifices for the people you love.”

Contact Shaked Salem at [email protected].