For those of you lucky enough to have found a connection with another person beyond studying together at UC Berkeley, there are bound to be questionable characteristics that your significant other may have. Sometimes these traits make your partner more lovable, while in other cases they may make you look at them with confusion. Coming from someone who has not yet entered the college dating scene, I thought it would be fun to see how many of these discomforts are perceived by a typical student at UC Berkeley. Here are some things that couples could experience:
Dirty dishes dispute
Assuming your relationship has progressed to the point where you share dishware, it can be annoying when your SO either insists on a methodological protocol for cleaning dishes or doesn’t care about the fungus growing on the bottom of the bowl they left in the sink for a week. You both decide that the condition of a few ceramic vessels should not be the reason for a breakup so you pitch an option: disposable cutlery and paper plates. Then, you realize your SO is CNR and you find a way to harvest the fungus on the dirty dishes to create the gnarliest compost pile anyone has ever seen. Ahh, love. Unlike your and your SO’s compost, it doesn’t have to stink after all.
Holding hands between classes on Sproul Plaza
Sometimes your friend for life wants to be cute and hold your hand (either that or their hands are cold) as you both pass through Sather Gate. The problem is that you’d prefer not to have someone get caught in the trap hazard that you and your SO’s interlocked hands have introduced to the sea of sleep deprived zombies. It has happened before and you have been given “that look” many times now. On most days, however, you tell yourself that holding hands is a metaphor for your groundedness at UC Berkeley and decide that being in close proximity to your SO is more meaningful than being cursed out by someone wearing Chubbies.
When your SO uses your baby picture as their screen saver
First of all, how did they get that? Second, what’s wrong with your face now? Sometimes you wonder if your SO is low-key a creep. You look nothing like you did 16 years ago. Things get worse when you both are together and someone asks about who is the toddler gracing the phone of your partner. Your partner is too in love with you to lie and say it is their cousin, so within seconds, a potentially cool conversation goes awry. You are waiting for the right time to express your true feelings about your SO’s seemingly brash decision. Until then, you try to convince your lover to update their screensaver with one of the 1,000 “cute” selfies you’ve bombarded their phone with.
Kissing you after letting their pet lick their face
This isn’t okay. Sure, some pets can have saliva that has, on average, less bacteria than that of humans. But human drool plus dog drool does not provide any added benefit. The smell of dried slobber on your partner’s face is unsettling, to say the least, and a huge turn-off in general. You came into the relationship for Fido, but you might leave it for the same reason.
When they clue other people in on the inside jokes only previously held between you two
Wait, when did your lover’s friend suddenly understand the meaning behind when you and bae referenced that line from “Rick and Morty”? Were they there when you and the love of your life watched the episode during dead week? Best friend may not necessarily mean “significant other,” but when was the last time your significant other shared an inside joke between them and their bestie? Some things are meant to be held secret, and in a world in which inside jokes are dying because of their inability to create an inclusive environment, any form of inside joke one has worked arduously to forge must not be at risk to become common knowledge (as the name “inside joke” implies).
I’m sure there are probably more instances that may initially cause friction between you and bae, but with patience and communication, I’m sure any dispute can be resolved… Right? Having a significant other is a great way to express yourself and find a means of discussing shared interests. Realistically, relationships aren’t meant to be perfect anyway, and if you don’t have a SO to begin with, think of this article as a list of potential problems you don’t have to even consider.
Contact Malvika Singhal at [email protected].