“Riverdale” is one of the hottest and most captivating new shows around. If you haven’t started it yet, now is the prime opportunity, and we at the Clog give it at least a 12/10. Since television shows that take place in a high school or university setting are often so unrealistic, it’s always interesting to put some time into thinking about what these characters would be like if they were a fellow Golden Bear. One of the first questions we get asked if an adult knows we’re studying something is “What’s your major?” This is how the best and baddest “Riverdale” characters would answer.
Jughead Jones — Media studies
Dedicating the vast majority of his time to making sure the newspaper at whatever high school he’s currently attending is perfect, Juggy is destined for the world of journalism (and would minor in it here, of course). He ALWAYS knows what’s going on in the world, and there’s no doubt that he’d have a badass honors thesis with something to do about the depiction of the criminals around us in the mass media. What a gem he is.
Betty Cooper — Political science
Betty is the epitome of a UC Berkeley poli sci major — she knows everything that’s happening around the world, she has an incredibly stereotypical Type A personality and she does whatever it takes to be the best. She would push someone down on the way to a declaration session in order to get that coveted last spot. While there might be memes galore that depict her perfectly, Betty would find a way to pleasantly surprise us with her truly good intentions and her selflessness, especially when it comes to Juggy. (P.S. they’re definitely dating in real life, like, are you kidding).
Veronica Lodge — Computer science
While Veronica is essential in the scheming and operations, she often operates behind the scenes, just like a UC Berkeley CS major scheming in Soda Hall to finish their 61A projects. She wouldn’t hesitate to throw shade at all of those students who are only taking Data 8 and pretend to understand the hardships that a true CS major faces. While she can sometimes be blunt because she’s preoccupied or stressed, she’s truly a good person at heart. Ronnie would definitely be one of Daddy DeNero’s favorites.
Archie Andrews — Industrial engineering and operations research
Archie would be an engineering major for a lot of reasons, but partly because of how intently he obsesses over the Black Hood. One could compare it to how engineering students obsess over their problem sets — staying awake all night and likely not showering. He is IEOR in particular because it’s somewhat of an underestimated major compared to EECS, and Archie can often be underestimated but always comes through in the end. IEOR and Archie Andrews are simply just two classics that we all love.
Cheryl Blossom — Pre-Haas
Cheryl is truly the most snakelike of all the characters, even though Jughead is a Southside Serpent. While she sometimes shows her good side, she’s betrayed everyone enough times to make us permanently wary of her actions. Plus, her family is loaded and definitely legacy material; getting into Haas will be easy money for her.
If only these five stars went here! Not only would there be constant drama and mystery for all of us to obsess over, but they’re fairly easy on the eyes as well.
Contact Annie Hatton at [email protected].