What exactly is Oski doing today for Valentine’s Day?

Daily Cal Staff/File

Oski’s more than just a hot hunk who cheers on our sports teams. He’s also pretty romantic. Get you a mascot that can do both, am I right? His plans for Valentine’s Day will make you swoon. Forget everything you thought you knew about romance and learn a thing or two from our favorite bear hit by Cupid’s arrow.

The valentine

It all began in Moffit, on the fourth floor. They met like it was a meet-cute straight out of a Nicholas Sparks film. “I just woke up from napping in one of the nap pods when I ran into her. It was 3 a.m. on a Tuesday. Her name was Oska,” Oski tells The Daily Clog. “We locked eyes and I immediately knew this was the stuff they learn about in Chem 1A.” Oski asked her if she’d be his Valentine by sending her some Valentine’s Day memes, and of course she just couldn’t say “no.”

The day

Before their much-awaited dinner, Oski’s Valentine’s Day looked a little something like this: First, he arranged for Chain Car to drive them around the streets of Berkeley. “What’s the point of being a celebrity if I can’t use my fame to make Oska happy?” Oski asked. He then told us about his plans to romantically serenade Oska on top of the Big C: “I made her a Soundcloud with several rap variations of ‘Go Bears.’ Do you think she’ll like it?” Oski wondered. We can probably all agree that she will, Oski.

The dinner

To impress Oska, Oski explained that he’s planned on straying away from his usual dinner at Croads. What does he have in mind instead? A classy meal at Clark Kerr. He’ll spare no meal points to make Oska happy. But don’t worry, Oski knows better than to eat in the actual dining hall. “I’m getting two to-go boxes and we’re going to the top of the Campanile for our romantic dinner. Who knows what will happen?” said the campus celebrity. Oski also mentioned his plans to set up rose petals in the shape of a UC Berkeley “C.” How romantic! His tip for saving money? Instead of buying candles, Oski plans on using his Juul to set that romantic mood.

The gift

What could be better than one Oski? Two Oskis, obviously. Oski explained his eagerness to give Oska the mini Oski stuffed animal he’d purchased at the Cal Student Store. “She loves me, so I’m embracing that and getting her another one of me. I mean, who wouldn’t want that? I can’t wait to see the look on her face,” Oski spilled. He also plans to give Oska some strawberry Hi-Chews if she doesn’t end up liking his other gift. Regardless, it seems like Oski has planned the perfect day.

We at the Clog wish we were all lucky enough to live such a fairy tale. Oski is our role model.

Contact Evelyn Roth at [email protected].