What playlist is the Clog listening to during midterms?

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UC Berkeley students can all agree on a couple of things. We all agree that Oski is undoubtedly the best, that composting is the only thing that matters and that all the on-campus dining centers are expensive as hell. But, most of all, we can all agree that “midterm season” lasts the whole semester. It builds character, right? With more than half of the semester to go, a midterm playlist is in order.

Stage 1: Chilling

Almost gleefully, your professor announces, “The midterm is in three weeks.” You could start studying now, but why ruin all the fun? Procrastination is your middle name. Why study when you could start binge-watching a new series on Netflix or scroll through the Google Maps street view of Spain’s Lakes of Covadonga for five hours? The perfect songs to fit your too-relaxed vibe? Chet Faker’s “Talk is Cheap,” CVIRO’s “Benjamins,” Jay Taj’s “Stumbling,” Sublime’s “What I Got” and HONNE’s “All In The Value.”

Stage 2: Stress

You told yourself you’d start studying for the midterm two weeks ago. But those two weeks turned into 15 hours, and you haven’t even touched your backpack. Who knew physics problems could negate the weight of the pulley’s string? It’s time to crack open your books and pray to our god, Oski, for a pre-made Quizlet. Need music to fit your pre-midterm jitters? Listen to “Gold” by BROCKHAMPTON, “Bachelor” by A$AP Mob, “A-Team” by Travis Scott and “Squeeze” by Aminé.

Stage 3: Adrenaline

With a blue book in hand and disappointing Peet’s coffee in your stomach, you’re somewhat ready to tackle the midterm. You show up to the lecture hall you haven’t been to in the past month. This is the right room, right? Right?! Pair your pumping adrenaline and shaky hands with Drake’s classic, “Make Me Proud,” Gucci Mane’s “Top in the Trash” and Joey Purp’s “Girls @ (feat. Chance the Rapper).” They’re perfect for running on one hour of sleep.

Stage 4: Relief

The mess of that midterm hasn’t hit you yet, so take a deep breath and treat yourself to some undeserved boba. You can finally take a nap and finish reading the news article that your pesky midterm interrupted. The best songs to help you decompress? “Shooters” by Tory Lanez, “Stir Fry” by Migos, “Redbone” by Childish Gambino and “Instinct” by Roy Woods.

Stage 5: Grief

You get your midterm back with your errors, in all their glory, circled in red pen. Maybe you can turn it into a fun Connect the Dots? Who thought grading curves were a good idea, anyway? But C’s get degrees. And now when you wallow, you can do it in style, listening to “Devastated” by Joey Bada$$, OneRepublic’s “Au Revoir,” The Fray’s “Over My Head,” Logic’s “1-800-273-8255” or Howie Day’s classic, “Collide.” Or, you know, you could listen to Bazzi’s “Mine,” because like the song-turned-meme, your life is a joke.

Nobody likes midterms, but at least this playlist will help us bear the burden. So, grab your earbuds, press “play,” cry and repeat. Good luck on your midterms, Bears.

Contact Evelyn Roth at [email protected].