Quiz: Will you get that coveted summer internship?

Willow Yang/File

You just finished submitting your last summer internship application. After a grueling process of personalizing each cover letter and having to click “attach resume” way too many times, you now have to wait for that email notifying you of the results. But why wait? We at the Clog aren’t psychics, but we can tell if you’ve got this in the bag.

  1. Have your posts in UCBMFET been successful?
    1. Is UCBMFET a band? I can name five of their songs, I promise.
    2. I like successful posts in UCBMFET; does that count?
    3. I have one post with more than 1K reacts so you could say I’m famous.
    4. I started a meme page trend; it’s the highlight of my resume.
  2. What’s your favorite place to study?
    1. Caffe Strada, because I want my laptop to be stolen.
    2. My room, because who even needs to go outside?
    3. Fourth floor of Moffitt, because I like not having a chair to sit in.
    4. Main Stacks, because it’s fun getting weird looks for having to cough.
  3. What does your campus involvement look like?
    1. I walk through campus for my classes, sometimes.
    2. Who has time for clubs with 20 units?
    3. Greek life, ayo; Wine Wednesday anyone?
    4. Some club that looks good on my resume.
  4. What’s your favorite source of news?
    1. Fox News
    2. CNN
    3. The Onion
    4. The Daily Californian
  5. What’s the best thing about UC Berkeley?
    1. Getting flyered on Sproul — at least tablers want me.
    2. Our rent prices — I love sharing my $900/month room with three other roommates.
    3. UCBMFET — I may be dead inside, but at least I can laugh about it.
    4. Oski, always and forever. I mean, have you seen his gloves?
  6. What’s your major?
    1. Media Studies
    2. Something humanities-related
    3. EECS
    4. Haas
  7. What internship are you hoping to get?
    1. An unpaid volunteer position to embrace my status as a broke college student.
    2. Something in Washington, D.C. Give me the Oval.
    3. Google’s the dream.
    4. Something in finance. Goldman Sachs, please!
    1. No. :( You didn’t get the internship, but now you can work on that summer tan. There’s always next year, right?
    2. Not yet! You were called back for a second interview. Get your outfit and predetermined responses ready, because you almost made it. Talk about Oski and you’re sure to get the internship.
    3. We didn’t know this was possible, but you were accepted to several internships! Granted, none of them were the ones you really wanted, but now you get to choose. Congrats!
    4. In the words of the Hell Yeah Man, “Hell yeah!” You got the summer internship you’ve been wanting and beat out hundreds of other applicants. Congratulations! Who even needs to sleep when you have a dope resume-padder?

Contact Evelyn Roth at [email protected].