As you’re reading this, I’m probably horny.

It doesn’t take much to make me crave the sensation of my clit being massaged as badly as most people crave ice cream on a hot summer day.

Though I have many different sources of fornication fodder, control is one of the headiest tonics. Orchestrating every detail of a situation in order to guarantee the outcome is one of life’s great pleasures to me. In the case of sex, that’s still true: I generally like to be dominant to ensure that my pussy gets sufficiently wet. That said, I don’t mind being dominated when it’s done well.

So it’s not that surprising that I like some kinky shit. It makes sense — when you can’t have sex, you tend to get more cunning about coming.

Some folks don’t like the idea of certain sexual acts, such as facials, because they think they’re disrespectful. But I like BDSM play because it’s about the give and take.

One night, I was with a partner who I’d been with a few times before — his masterful command of dirty talk and his talented wielding of his endowments kept me coming back for more. We’d started to become more comfortable with one another, and as we did, we got more brazen about what made our orgasms the most eruptive.

As he was jamming his cock down my throat, he asked urgently if I wanted him to nut on my face. I eased my mouth off of him so that I could nod, and he shot his hot load all over my eyes, nose and mouth. I licked some of the salty, sticky substance off of my lips.

Then he kissed me and tasted himself. He proceeded to help me wipe my face off with tissues, taking care around my eyes.

Partners that respect one another harm and dominate each other safely, sanely and consensually — and then extend that respect further through the aftercare that they provide each other.

To me, there was no disrespect in what we did. He made sure to ask me if I wanted something, and I said yes. Maybe I don’t want to spend all of my time with jizz on my face, but in that moment, I thought it was hot because I knew he was into it. I had as much control in this situation as he did — the right to decline gave me an arousing power over his climax.

I personally love ending a sexual encounter with marks all over my body from scratching, choking, sucking or spanking. They serve as a reminder of the insane fucking I just experienced and extend the life of my sex glow. It’s especially exciting when I have a mark in a new place to remember to bruise up again the next time I want to indulge in the rougher pleasures in life.

Arguably one of the most satisfying aspect of the marks of masochism is when I watch to see how sex scars heal. I use the memory of their procurement to bring about arousals and orgasms anew for days after the erotic escapade.

Even more “vanilla” sex acts can have some extra BDSM flavor. Consider blow jobs: They can involve getting on your knees and being a slave to someone’s cock or having the dick possessor aggressively face-fuck you by moving your head and pushing themselves farther and farther down your throat as you try to overcome your gag reflex.

I’ve had friends argue that blow jobs are even more intimate than sex because you’re taking someone’s genitals and inserting them not into the analog on your body, but into the place that you use to survive and to communicate.

In my view, though, I still have so much power and control when blowing someone. I love slaving for my partner’s orgasm and taking direction to move them closer to it. But I also hold one of their most sensitive, precious body parts in my mouth.

Because the mouth can exert so much force, there is an inherent vulnerability and power dynamic in sticking your genitals in there, as there’s the risk of potential harm.

If you think that you won’t like certain sex acts or that they’re distasteful and profane, take a moment to consider why you feel that way. Something that seems odd or gross at first might be something you really enjoy, but it just feels strange because you haven’t tried it before. You might not love the idea of pistachio-flavored ice cream (how can a nut taste creamy and sweet?), but if you go out there and try it, you might be pleasantly surprised at what you find.

So go out there and get face-fucked sometime.