Good ol’ St. Patrick’s Day is nearly here, and thus, so is the fear of being pinched. Unfortunately, not all of us can ball out and spend our hard-earned change on rad new green clothing (the dream) to protect ourselves from pinching fiends. To ensure your physical and emotional safety this Saturday, the Clog has compiled a list of frugal yet effective ways to dye your clothing items green. You’re welcome.
Vegan hair dye
Save the animals, the environment and your exposed arms! Stop by Walgreens or Target and snag some vegan hair dye to lather your clothes in and look rad as heck. And on the plus side, the dye usually only lasts one day, so you may be able to salvage that white tee.
Let you creative juices flow. Grab one of these permanent markers and scribble until the cows come home. You may have to drop some cash on a full pack of Sharpies just to get the green one, but that just means you’ll always be the cool kid with every color of Sharpie that your classmates may need.
Track down Kermit and ask him to sit on your clothes until they turn green. This would be more of an experiment, as the results regarding the secretion of Kermit’s skin remain inconclusive. Still, you could meet Kermit. We heard he’s helping Oski choreograph some new dance routines.
Don’t underestimate the power of mold. Get your clothing wet and leave it in a plastic bag for a full day until mold grows and it’s completely green! And, if you happen to feel festive post-St. Paddy’s day, this trick also works well with swimsuits in the summertime. Plus, you’ll smell really bad — everyone’s dream.
When have grass stains ever failed to be permanent? They’ve been helping laundry detergent companies seem unique for years. This tactic is perfect for our current weather because you can easily just go lay in the rain-drenched grass for half an hour or so and you’re good to go.
Green eye shadow
Use your own or ask to borrow some. You can powder up your clothing with it, or be a regular human and use it on your eyelids. The choice is yours.
Here’s a tip that’s a bit different. See how many avocados you have to eat before you turn green yourself. It’ll be like that episode of “That’s So Raven” in which Chelsea eats too many carrots and turns green, except cooler.
These are just a sampling of the many ways to wear green on this holiday. Be creative and show off your St. Paddy’s Day spirit!
Contact Hailey Johnson at [email protected].