“I’m going to Jersey Shore, bitch!”
“All right, we got a situation here!”
“I’m the sweetest bitch you’ll ever meet.”
“After I have sex with a guy, I will rip their heads off.”
“Go Vinny, go Vinny!”
It has been six years since the series finale of the original “Jersey Shore,” and we at the Clog are excited to say that reality television’s favorite cast is back! In “Jersey Shore: Family Vacation,” Snooki, The Situation, Pauly D, JWoww, Vinny, Deena, Sammi and Ronnie take a break from their family lives and head to Miami to relive their youth and party hard, just as we do in college. So we at the Clog can’t help but wonder what the “Jersey Shore” cast would be majoring in if they went to UC Berkeley.
Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi
As a self-proclaimed “meatball,” Snooki defines small and fierce. Along with sticking up for herself, Snooki also looks out for her fellow women. It’s clear that Snooki would be a gender and women’s studies major. Her most iconic moment on “Jersey Shore” was the letter she wrote to Sammi to tell her that Ron was cheating on her. Although Sammi’s reaction wasn’t what she thought it would be, Snooki had good intentions and just wanted to help her friend out when no one else would.
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino
Mike cares so deeply about his appearance and body, making him most likely to study nutritional sciences and toxicology. With so much alcohol and drug damage done to his system, Mike’s main goal at UC Berkeley would be finding the perfect diet and workout regimen to make his abs last a lifetime.
Paul “Pauly D” DelVecchio
As a DJ, Pauly D has to know a lot about computers. What else would our favorite DJ be studying besides computer science? Through his studies in CS, Pauly D would be creating the hottest beats and selling them to frat boys who want to start their SoundCloud rap careers.
Vinny has always been a mama’s boy. As he cares so deeply about his mother, Vinny would double major in legal studies and social welfare! His ultimate goal would be to make sure that every child has a mother to smother them.
Deena wasn’t originally part of the dream team but made herself a part of the “Jersey Shore” family during season three. Clearly, Deena would be a junior transfer. Being small and fierce as well, she would also major in gender and women’s Studies alongside her fellow “meatball,” Snooki.
Jenni “JWoww” Farley
JWoww has always been the smartest of the group. There’s no doubt that JWoww would be pursuing an MBA at the Haas School of Business. With her quick thinking and witty personality, she’d definitely fit in. With her MBA, J-Wow would also create a business plan to expand the Shore Store back in Seaside Heights, New Jersey.
Ronnie, as described by several cast members, is the definition of a “gorilla juice head.” With his physique being his main asset, Ronnie would be a part of ROTC. He’d definitely be the guy in ROTC who tries a little too hard.
You may or may not remember Angelina, who left early in the first season (then returned for a bit in season two before leaving again). If Angelina was at UC Berkeley, she definitely would have dropped out after her first semester. With no real desires in life besides causing drama and partying, Angelina would be the one to stay in Berkeley to go to open frat parties.
“Sammi Sweetheart” Giancola
Sammi — who credits herself as “the sweetest bitch you’ll ever meet” — might make you think of her as a Haas student. However, her on-again-off-again relationship with Ronnie places her as a peace and conflict studies major. With Sammy’s efforts, her relationship with Ronnie actually lasted all six seasons of “Jersey Shore.” No matter how bad things seemed, Sammi was always able to somewhat resolve the conflicts that she and Ron had.
The cast of the “Jersey Shore” is definitely wild — some may say as wild as college students. So of course, no matter what the cast members would have majored in at UC Berkeley, you’d definitely find them getting completely hammered on Frat Row every weekend.
Contact Joyce Cam at [email protected].