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Things that are more unlucky than Friday the 13th

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APRIL 13, 2018

Using a very scientific algorithm, we at the Clog have uncovered 30 things that are more unlucky than Friday the 13th. It’s science, people, OK? Whether you’re completely superstitious or you’re only, in the words of Michael Scott, “a little stitious,” these 30 things plague the life of every Golden Bear. At least you might be able to breathe a little easier this Friday knowing that it could be a lot worse.

  1. Your GPA at the hands of UC Berkeley’s grade deflation
  2. Being waitlisted for a major prerequisite
  3. The Cal men’s basketball team
  4. When that one really smart person messes up the exam curve
  5. Having a final at 7 p.m. on a Friday
  6. Attempting to find jobs as a media studies major
  7. Having a bad enrollment time
  8. Taking an 8 a.m.
  9. Your sleep schedule when you take an 8 a.m.
  10. Your roommate’s alarm waking you up every morning when they have class earlier than you do
  11. Every Golden Bear’s decision to come to UC Berkeley
  12. Chancellor Dirks, when investigations revealed his misuse of public funds
  13. Students choosing to go to Stanfurt over UC Berkeley
  14. The original “Overheard at UC Berkeley” Facebook group getting deleted
  15. Your famous posts in the original “Overheard at UC Berkeley” Facebook group getting deleted when the group was deleted
  16. Having a meme in UCBMFET that doesn’t do well
  17. Oski not following you back on Instagram
  18. Trying to get a summer internship with a 2.3 GPA
  19. Accidentally liking somebody’s Instagram post from 37 weeks ago while lurking their account (completely hypothetically, of course)
  20. The planet, because you keep using straws
  21. Any Golden Bear trying to find affordable housing
  22. That one special tree that gets chopped before the Big Game 
  23. Having Friday classes
  24. Having Monday classes
  25. Having back-to-back classes that are on completely opposite ends of campus
  26. Having any classes at all
  27. Pulling an all-nighter for a midterm only to get a bad grade
  28. Running out of meal points before the semester ends
  29. Getting a lower score on an exam after asking your GSI to regrade it
  30. Trying to find a seat on the fourth floor of Moffitt

In addition to being thankful, you should remember to not walk under any ladders or spill salt. Go Bears!

Contact Evelyn Roth at [email protected].

APRIL 13, 2018