Time to get some blue and gold down that gullet.

Freeze Peach

Blend equal parts vodka, ice and peach sweet tea. Top it off with a decent amount of shade and take a damn sip, babes. The best spot to kill some Freeze Peach is Sproul Plaza.

Hot for Teacher

Much like the daunting act of confessing your feelings to your dreamy professor at the end of the semester, you only have one shot to do this. Pour a tall glass of Corona to cool your loins, and top it with some Tajín and Tapatío to keep it spicy like the forbidden love you harbor. Then, take a shot glass of tequila, light it on fire, drop it into your beer, and chug it to forget the unrequited feelings. Fun!

Oski’s Piss

This isn’t even a cocktail or a concoction. Just find your nearest bag of white wine, and guzzle that straight from the nozzle. Bonus points are based off of how strong ’n’ long you can make the stream.

Take Off That Red Shot

To a tumbler full of ice, add equal parts tomato juice, pickle juice and vodka with salt and pepper to taste. Pour it into a shot glass and down it before anyone sees even a glimpse of red. Do this in a group; the person with the most liquid left in their shot glass has to take their shirt off. Sorry — Oski’s orders.

Bear It All

Mix two parts Gatorade to one part vodka, and add one part clear rum into a shaker full of ice. Serve in a clear glass for full transparency.

It’s Berkeley Time Somewhere

Add three parts pineapple juice to two parts spiced rum. Factor in the 10 extra minutes that it’ll take for you get up after chugging a whole pitcher of this sweet, sweet mess.

Dead Weak

Procure a shot of espresso, a shot of Baileys Irish Cream and a shot of whiskey, and slip it into something more comfortable — such as a nice stout. It’s best had while you’re in your pajamas during the morning before your optional study session.

Marxist Mimosa

Thesis: champagne. Antithesis: orange juice. Synthesis: mimosa. Dab on that dialectical materialism.

The 51B

This drink will take you where you need to go — trust it. To a shaker full of ice, add one standard 250 mL can of Red Bull, two shots of vodka and one shot of lemon juice. Shake well and serve in a travel mug of your choice for minimal spillage while sipping. Next stop? Party city, baby!

Judith Butler

This one is super easy. Make any of the drinks above, find the nearest womxn or nonbinary person, and give it to them instead. Consider it reparations. Be careful not to get fucked up on that performative feminism though!