UC Berkeley’s favorite super senior, Oski, finally graduates

Ethan Epstein/File

After somehow rigging the system for 77 years, Oski will finally graduate Saturday, May 12, 2018.

Oski the Bear enrolled at UC Berkeley in 1941. Through a combination of gap years and super-seniority, he made it to this epic moment. From the look on his face, we at the Clog can safely say that we are almost pretty sure he is excited.

Unfortunately, our interview with Oski alternated between him buttoning his cardigan and sitting completely still — not a word was said. Because we are lacking direct quotes, the Clog has compiled a list of Oski’s greatest accomplishments at UC Berkeley.

During his time at Berkeley, Oski completed a number of impressive feats. From being the first anthropomorphic bear on campus to rocking white gloves every day, he has proven there is nothing he can’t do.

Shortly after he completed his first freshman year, Oski became a professional skydiver — hence the line in “Fight for California”: Our sturdy Golden Bear is watching from the skies, Looks down upon our colors fair….”

He continued his skydiving career until his third sophomore year, when he went rogue and turned up on Stanford’s campus, where he ate the entire football team. That moment lent itself to Cal’s fight song “The Stanford Jonah” in which it states, “Stanford’s team will be found in the tummy of the Golden Bear.”

Oski has been known to growl three times in his life. All three times occurred at either the tree-burning ceremony or a Cal victory. Legend has it, each time he lets loose with his mighty growl, a Stanford student shits their pants. I think it’s safe to say we are all hoping to hear the “growling of the mighty Bear” (as described in “Make Way for the Bear”) this Saturday at graduation.

As a fellow graduating senior, I can say I am very excited to cross the stage in Oski’s presence.

Contact Hailey Johnson at [email protected].