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If 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' characters went to UC Berkeley

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Senior Staff

MAY 22, 2018

With the whirlwind of emotions we went through with “Brooklyn Nine-Nine”’s cancellation-to-rescue saga, Fox and NBC reminded us how much we really love all of the show’s eccentric, funny and witty characters. While the show can look like a simple cop comedy, a deeper look reveals that it effectively tackles important issues such as racism, homophobia and sexism. It also has a cast of diverse leads and uses humor to balance out heavy topics.

Even though the precinct is all the way on the East Coast, Andy Samberg — who plays Jake Peralta — grew up in Berkeley and that’s enough reason for us to picture some of the “Most Amazing Humans/Geniuses” as UC Berkeley students.

Amy Santiago

You can usually find Amy in some part of Evans Hall. As a math major, she sometimes struggles with proofs that contradict rules she already knows. She is often spotted drafting angry emails to GSIs or setting up appointments with professors when she disagrees with lecture content. Sources claim that she has been asked to save all her questions for office hours because she once interrupted lecture so many times that the professor couldn’t even reach the second half of the syllabus. When she isn’t challenging herself with equations, Amy works as a copy editor at The Daily Californian, where she takes pleasure in spotting grammatical errors and exercising her need to be perfect. 

Rosa Diaz

People sometimes spot Rosa outside Golden Bear cafe on Saturdays, dancing with Lindy on Sproul, but she is quick to deny — and often physically threatening — when confronted about it.  She hates school spirit and is once said to have punched Oski for getting too close to her. Rumor has it that she maintains a 4.0 GPA but nobody really knows what her major is. Her roommate from freshman year claimed that Rosa was pre-med, but then concluded that she never actually saw her enter the dorms or even sleep so she wasn’t sure about anything anymore. We’d tell you where to find her on campus, but you don’t find Rosa. Rosa finds you.

Jake Peralta

When he isn’t busy rounding up his floormates to watch “Die Hard” with him, you’ll find Jake coming up with elaborate plans to throw wild parties and persuade the RA to turn a blind eye. With his easygoing attitude and fun-loving personality, it isn’t a surprise that Jake is popular and universally liked. Though he makes people laugh — and performs regularly in shows hosted by an improv and sketch comedy team — Jake should not be underestimated. He is extremely competitive and ambitious and sets the curve for his classes at the Haas School of Business.

Raymond Holt

Holt is a legal studies major and is president of the ASUC. While he is usually occupied with his work at the ASUC, he spends free time reading in Morrison Library. Library attendants disclose that he is the perfect patron and makes their jobs easier by waking up sleeping students and informing them that they’re breaking the no-napping rule. He claims that the food at Crossroads is just bland enough for his taste. You can find him there in the morning enjoying his favorite breakfast food, which happens to be plain toast.

Gina Linetti

Gina tried out to be part of a dance team at the beginning of freshman year, but decided that the team wasn’t ready for her talent when she didn’t get selected. She managed to persuade a professor to hire her as a TA and enjoys grading assignments based on her mood and how many Twitter followers the student has. Since her extracurricular endeavors were unsuccessful, she has lots of free time, which she uses to scroll through the UC Berkeley Memes for Edgy Teens Facebook page. Gina likes to talk about how academically inclined she is as a student in the (sometimes) No. 1 public university but often forgets to turn in papers and sometimes struggles to pass her media studies electives. You can usually find her ignoring everyone around her at Caffe Strada.

Charles Boyle

Charles teaches the baking DeCal and is famous on campus for handing out free cookies in Moffitt Library during dead week. He cares about the environment and people around him and is an active member of the Berkeley Project’s volunteering committee. He’s a nutritional sciences and toxicology major who is often spotted offering to help other students who look confused in lecture. His friends claim that though he’s always quick to assist, he usually confuses them even further. They appreciate his enthusiasm but don’t invite him to many parties.

Terry Jeffords

Terry is a Japanese major and aspires to study abroad. His biggest passion — in addition to studying languages — is working out. You can find him in the RSF early in the morning, between classes and at the end of the day. Students claim to have seen him doing a one-handed plank on Ludwig’s Fountain, balancing with one hand and eating strawberry yogurt with the other.

So, if you walk past Sproul Plaza and spot Terry or Rosa, don’t be surprised — we think “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” characters fit in pretty well as UC Berkeley students!

Contact Mahira Dayal at [email protected].

MAY 22, 2018