The sun is blazing and our toes are toasting. Time for that fateful flip-flop tan to make its yearly appearance once again.
We have to ask ourselves — is there really a wrong way to have a flip-flop tan? Yes and no. According to our ever-pressing societal standards, only a particular cut of flip-flop (preferably one of the Old Navy lineage) is allowed to make the iconic imprint on our feet. It’s the classic California beach bum and residential neighborhood bum look.
But is anyone really going to care? Probably. That’s why the Clog is here to tell you the do’s and the many don’ts of pulling off a classy flip-flop tan.
Dad sandals? You know which ones I’m talking about. Big no-no. This may go against everything you know, but do your poor feet a favor by actually wearing socks with them to ward off that unfortunate tan.
Stay away from Crocs. Period. Search up a picture of a Crocs tan if you don’t believe me. The only two words I can say are “polka dots.”
Yeah, you can probably wear thick-strap flip-flops, but the tan just won’t be the same elegant two-sided triangle.
If you like a pale stripe across your feet, then by all means, wear those Gucci slides religiously. It’s almost as bad as a foot farmer’s tan.
Thong sandals may get you close to the standard flip-flop tan, but if you aren’t going gladiator, don’t even bother. You’ll just get a sad single line down your foot attached to an even sadder circle around your ankle.
If you have a pre-existing flip-flop tan that somehow survived the winter, bury your feet in some sand until you get a nice roast all over.
The classic flip-flop tan is really the only way to go. Wear it proud and wear it with all these images of tans gone wrong in your mind. Also wear sunscreen. Clog out.