The Clog investigates: Who the hell is Oski’s father?

Julie Liu/File

For almost 77 years, Oski has obviously been the defining character of UC Berkeley. He never ages and he never gives up trying to hit on eligible students. But what are his origins? What are his roots? The dashing mascot of Cal must have a father, too, and we at the Clog are speculating who (or what) that may be.

1. One of the live bears Berkeley used to use as a mascot

Yes, the great University of California, Berkeley, did use live bears as its mascot before the birth of Oski. Maybe two of them did the nasty after one of the games and produced Oski — a safer, creepier bear-like creature to bring good fortune to Cal’s many sports teams. That one bear must be a proud father. This is probably why we also have no shortage of “Berkeley Dad” t-shirts with bears on them for sale (not a coincidence).

2. He was created in a lab underneath the Daily Cal by its former editor

Oski was created by an editor of the Daily Cal somewhere in a secret room in the Daily Cal building. Of course, we cannot reveal the whereabouts — just trust us. So that technically makes the former editor the father of Oski? Like the professor and the Powerpuff Girls? Think of Oski as a Powerpuff Girl from now on.

3. The dark spirits that conjured him up during Cal fight songs of the olden days

Dads are supposed to be the figure in your life that lift you up and teach you the life skills you need to succeed. What else could possibly have done that except for the forces living under California Memorial Stadium that were all funneled into Oski during the many chants that were sung in the ’40s? There must have been something special in the words, “All our rival’s hopes are doomed to die, when our Golden Bear looks down on high.” Gives you shivers, doesn’t it? The real question is whether Oski could have had multiple entities be its father (there definitely isn’t just one thing lurking under there). In this day and age, anything is and could have been possible.

5. Stanfurd tree

You may not want to believe this one, but it just may be true. We mean, why else do they have such a passionate rivalry? They must be related. In fact, father and son: badly-put-together tree and anthropomorphic bear. We choose to ignore that Oski has been around for longer than the Stanfurd tree. The only reasonable explanation is that the tree time travels. Obviously.

We may never truly know who Oski’s dad is, but that’s OK — he’s been replaced by a bowl of blue Jell-O. This Father’s Day, don’t think about the origins of your dad (or if he really is your dad, because that’s for a different day), but give him the unconditional love he deserves!

Contact Pooja Bale at [email protected] .