On an average Friday or Saturday night, the stretch of Durant Avenue between Telegraph Avenue and College Avenue is filled with inebriated UC Berkeley students stumbling around trying to find the right place to satisfy their drunchies (drunk munchies for all of our wholesome folks). No matter if your night started at Kip’s at midnight or at Theta Apple Pie or even if you’re just hanging out with pals, people from all walks of life eventually end up here. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the bounty of choices offered by this oasis of late-night eats, the Clog is here to guide you with a definitive power ranking of your options.
7. Gypsy’s Trattoria Italiano
While Gypsy’s might not be the finest Italian dining you’ll ever experience, the portions are large and the prices are reasonable, making it the perfect place to get dinner with your friends or grab some food to go. The high-carb varieties of pasta are perfect late-night brain food.
6. Thai Basil Cuisine
Thai Basil’s delicious pad see ew would be enough to warrant it a spot at No. 1, but the primary drawback of this venue is that it’s cash only. Seriously, what drunk college kids looking for food on a Saturday night are going to have cash? While the various rice noodle dishes and curries might not seem like go-to drunk food, Thai Basil’s inexpensive, hearty portions are a good option if you want something that’s not fried in 5 gallons of animal fat — but only if you’ve recently visited an ATM.
5. Seniore’s Pizza
Pizza is a staple late-night food, whether you’re feeding a study group or easing your drunk appetite, and Seniore’s offers big slices as well as novelty options such as mozzarella sticks and deep-fried Oreos. Seniore’s now even offers gluten-free options, making it a great way to accommodate all those who got drunk on hard alcohol because they can’t drink beer.
4. Artichoke Basille’s Pizza
For an actually decent slice of thin-crust pizza, Artichoke’s is the way to go. Unlike Seniore’s, Artichoke’s is a respectable place to grab a bite to eat even if you haven’t spent the whole night shotgunning Natty Lites, and although prices have slightly risen in the last few years, a few dollars gets you a pretty big slice. A major drawback is the limited seating options, but you can just take your pizza with you and head back to whichever party you came from.
3. Smoke’s Poutinerie
Sure, eating one order of these greasy, sauce-drenched, cheese curd-covered potatoes will probably take a year or two off your life, but after you’ve hit the frats and downed all the Vitali your body can physically handle, nothing hits the spot like poutine. If you’re feeling healthy, you can always add guacamole (for extra, because, obviously).
2. King Pin Donuts
You don’t have to be drunk to want to stuff your face with these donuts. The smell wafting out of King Pin’s door is enough to draw any late-night passer-by in to buy a hot, freshly glazed old-fashioned. Not to mention the sale on day-old donuts that is quite the steal. Its limitation to sweet snacks relegates King Pin to No. 2 on our power ranking, but for just a few bucks you can walk away with a satisfied belly full of hot, oily, delicious dough.
1. Taco Bell
Taco Bell on Durant — the crème de la crème of all memes and midnight drunchies. Yes, it’s overhyped, unoriginal and a disgrace to authentic Mexican food (RIP nacho fries), but the low prices and wide variety of options cater perfectly to low-budget, hungry college kids, particularly those who are stumbling around at 1:30 a.m. looking for some grub. Even after all the neighboring businesses have closed, Taco Bell shines like a beacon of hope, enticing rowdy students with Doritos Locos Tacos and Cheesy Gordita Crunches.
Next time you’re looking for a late-night snack, make sure to think of this article before choosing where to spend your money.