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Obvious reasons why going Greek is the only way to go

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Special Issues Editor

AUGUST 17, 2018

So, the start of the semester means the start of recruitment for the Greek sororities and fraternities. Some of you may be wary of joining Greek life, but we at the Clog want to share the best parts of Greek life and why going Greek might be the best for you. There are so many upsides to going Greek! Here are just a few of them.

You’ll make sisters and brothers for life!

Everyone knows that you’re not just joining Greek life — you’ll be making brothers and sisters to last a lifetime! I mean, how else can you make friends besides selling your soul to a sorority or fraternity? Greek life can guarantee you friends even after college! All you have to do is pay tons of money and, boom, instant friendships! You’ll truly never be alone.

Greek yogurt

Everyone loves Greek yogurt. And since it’s Greek, that should motivate you enough to join Greek life. Think of all the Greek yogurt you can have while being surrounded by the best people you’ll ever meet at UC Berkeley.

Unlimited access to JUULs and other vapes

Fraternities are famous for their unlimited supply of JUULs. You could even say that getting a JUUL is a rite of passage to joining Greek life. And for the sororities, all those intermingling parties between the houses also gets you unlimited access to these JUULs! And all for free! Wow! What a steal.

Free training to ultimately make you shotgunning champion of the world

Shotgunning beers is basically Greek culture! By the end of your college adventure, you’ll be able to take it like a champ. This can also be a cool party trick to show off at future events.

Positive ~vibez~ all around

It’s safe to say that Greek life can actually guarantee happiness at this school. With everyone always being so peppy and down with school spirit, Greek life can make UC Berkeley a happy place for you! Surround yourself with nothing but good vibez and great people. Rush!

‘Mamma Mia!’

This, by far, is the No. 1 reason why going Greek is the right thing to do. With “Mamma Mia!” being set in Greece, Greek life almost guarantees a life of dancing, jiving and having the time of your life. “Mamma Mia!” is everything and more in this world. With the release of the second “Mamma Mia!” movie, you should be more than pumped to get ready to go Greek!

As members of the blog community and a part of this organization, this is highly accurate. We at the Clog say, “Go Greek or go home!”

This is a satirical article written purely for entertainment purposes.

Joyce Cam is the blog editor. Contact Joyce Cam at [email protected].

AUGUST 17, 2018