Thoughts every KiwiBot has when encountering students

As students start to accept the KiwiBot species as a daily part of campus culture, it makes sense that certain trends and interactions have emerged. Here’s our take on what KiwiBots think when they encounter students and other Berkeley residents.

When they’re petted by a student

*Heart eyes*

“Oh, hello! That’s funny — you think I’m a dog. Unlike a dog, I’m not furry, but I appreciate your acceptance of me as the artificially intelligent counterpart of what you’re typically used to.

When they’re picked back up by a student after falling

“Thank you so much! The people who developed me didn’t consider the frequency with which this would happen to me. Someone is waiting for their boba, and I’m late! I owe you one.”

When someone steps in front of them to see if they will stop

“Why do you do this? OK, very funny. I’ll stop for you. Oh, I see. You think this is a game. Next time you step in front of me, I’ll know to ignore you.”

When someone affectionately calls them “Kiki”

“Yes, I love you.  Little do you know that my internal system lets me listen to Drake as I zoom across campus.”

When they see a squirrel

“SQUIRREELLL!! It mocks me.”

When someone forgets to get their order outside of Dwinelle, and the hour strikes

“Hello?!”

*Blinks in both directions multiple times*

“I have your order! Please! I traveled far and wide from Chipotle to deliver this to you! I can’t climb these stairs. I don’t have much time before someone kicks me as a joke!”

When someone takes a picture with them

^_^

When someone walks with them

“Hi! How was your day? My day has been going well! I just delivered some poke to a student in Evans. I am so proud of myself. That hill is no joke.”

When they see another KiwiBot

“HELLO! HELLO! Where are you going? I am going that way too! Where are you coming from? Dwinelle? Wow, bless your programmed soul.”

There you have it! Those are just a few thoughts that KiwiBots have as they wheel themselves around campus. Don’t forget — KiwiBots are people too.

Contact Malvika Singhal at [email protected].