Clog report: Flyering banned from Sproul Plaza, campus organizations outraged

UC Berkeley’s Sproul Plaza Foot Traffic Control Board, or SPFTCB, announced Monday that all student organizations, socialist clubs and other groups are now banned from flyering on Sproul Plaza, a popular spot for this activity.

“Frankly, we’re tired of having to walk through Sproul with our headphones on and hands in our pockets,” said a SPFTCB spokesperson. “We’re all for student organizations, but getting to class has become a nightmare.”

Most students gave positive responses to this development on campus. When told about the change, many students responded by high-fiving us or intensely fist-pumping.   

“I don’t appreciate being aggressively approached by multiple people when I’m on my way to class,” one sophomore told us. “I know you won’t accept me anyway, so why waste your badly designed flyer on me? Good riddance!”

Another student, a campus junior, believes this policy change could also make a positive impact on the environment.

“Think about all the paper that gets trashed on Sproul from people throwing their flyers on the ground or people dropping them,” said the junior. “This is a great step toward UC Berkeley achieving zero waste by 2020. If they want to promote themselves so badly, just do it digitally — that’s what Facebook is for.”

There is, however, a small but passionate outcry from the various clubs and organizations that normally park themselves on Sproul every day of the week.

“We’re making some big impacts on campus at the ASUC,” said one senior. “Without Sprouling, I honestly think students will forget we exist. I’m worried no one will vote!”

The ASUC is not the only student organization with beef. CALPIRG has decided to change its current campaign from saving the bees to getting Sprouling back. All of the professional fraternities on campus have decided to voice their complaints to the SPFTCB. Unfortunately for them, their complaints were dismissed, since no one actually knows what their importance on campus is, anyway.

The Daily Californian has also been impacted by this big change. We will no longer be allowed to livehawk our newspapers to students on Sproul, which only further drives the nail into our “print is dead” coffin.

Contact Sunny Sichi at [email protected].