It can be tough to stand out at a school as competitive as UC Berkeley. You have to apply to most clubs. Everyone talks about how tired and overworked they are. There’s overwhelming pressure to land prestigious internships.
One way to stand out is by spicing up your speech — even if you still talk about the same shit as everyone you know, at least the way you say it will be different. So here are some archaic words you can start saying, briefly defined according to the Oxford English Dictionary and used in UC Berkeley-related example sentences.
Confuse your friends! Be mysterious and/or annoying! Either way, you’ll make an impression.
1. Ere — adverb, preposition, conjunction, adjective or noun
This versatile classic, which means “before” or “early,” offers myriad opportunities for you to talk like a pretentious asshole.
Midterms shall smite me ere long.
2. Abrook — verb
Here’s a useful one: a fancy verb that means “to endure, tolerate, abide.”
Canst thou abrook the slings and arrows of CS 61A?
3. Puissant — adjective or noun
English speakers borrowed this word from the French. Use “puissant” when you want to say “possessed of or wielding power; having great authority or influence; mighty, potent, powerful.”
Boba, the puissant emperor of the Golden Bear’s palate, reigns supreme in Berkeley.
4. Forsooth — adverb
This adverb means “in truth, truly.” Use it to support your assertions in an old-fashioned, annoying way.
Forsooth, dear madam, I am qualified for this internship.
5. Esurient — adjective or noun
Here’s a word that means “hungry,” but it goes a bit deeper than that — esurient is used in a “humorously pedantic” way or “in the sense ‘impecunious and greedy.’ ” As a noun, it means “a greedy person.”
Ah! The pungent stench of esurient freshmen applying to consulting clubs.
6. Prithee — interjection
If you need to beg, but in a pompous way, prithee means “ ‘I pray thee,’ ‘I beg of you’; please.”
Prithee, tell me my grade. We took the midterm, like, three weeks ago, damn it.
7. Yclept — adjective
For when you really want to overcomplicate things, yclept means “called (so-and-so), named, styled.”
Hit this vape yclept Titania — she’ll get you high as a fairy.
8. Zounds — interjection
This word means “God’s wounds.” Use it in moments of great passion.
Zounds! Oski, have mercy on my GPA!
Actions may speak louder than words, but some words speak louder than others. Be that weirdo who makes “forsooth” happen. It’s finally going to happen.
Nick Furgatch is an assistant night editor. Contact him at [email protected].