22 things we would rather do than go to $tanfurd University

Brace yourselves — the Trees are coming. The 121st Big Game will bring hoards of Stanfordites into town, dawning their atrocious red and cheering for their clearly inferior school. While our blue blood may boil watching the enemies enter Bear territory, there’s one reason why we’re grateful for their presence — they remind us that, by choosing to attend UC Berkeley, we’ve made life choices far superior to theirs. With the Big Game renewing our inner California spirit, the Clog has been reflecting on all the things that we would rather do than attend that lesser school across the Bay.

  1. Sit on Oski’s lap for the entire Big Game
  2. Flyer on Sproul Plaza every day for a year
  3. Have back-to-back classes in Li Ka Shing and Haas
  4. Eat every meal at Crossroads
  5. Yell “Hell Yeah” each time we cross the intersection of Telegraph Avenue and Durant Avenue
  6. Get lost in Dwinelle Hall
  7. Take an 8 a.m. class with iClickers
  8. Use Airbears 2 Wifi to download movies
  9. Buy every single textbook new from the Cal Student Store
  10. Have every single class in Evans Hall
  11. Trip on a KiwiBot at least once a week
  12. Take a nap on the seal
  13. Live on Northside
  14. Fight off squirrels trying to steal food at FSM
  15. Miss our Phase I appointment times
  16. Arrive at the RSF right when all of the machines are taken
  17. Take CS 61A, Chem 3A, Physics 7B and Rhetoric R1B at the same time
  18. Wait two hours to ask a question at office hours
  19. Set a picture of former chancellor Nicholas Dirks as our phone screensaver
  20. Only listen to “Fight for California” on repeat at parties
  21. Live in a Unit 3 triple
  22. Go to the No. 1 public university in the world

While our lives here at UC Berkeley are far from flawless, we would take our school and all of its amazing quirks over $tanfurd any time, any day. Go Bears!

Contact Hannah Nguyen at [email protected].