Dear Justin Bieber, JB, the Biebs, etc.,
We know you may receive a lot of hate mail these days, and sure, we don’t adore your current Shaggy-inspired haircut, but before you crumple up this letter, we here at the Clog want to clarify; this is a thank you letter. In fact, we would even go so far as to call it a love letter of sorts.
2011: What an iconic 365 days. Prince George was born. Nick Jonas was still sporting his purity ring. “LOL” was officially added to the Oxford English Dictionary. Michelle Obama did the Dougie. You rented out the Staples Center for a private screening of Selena’s favorite movie, “The Notebook.” Too soon? We have no comment about that one. But if we did, it might be something along the lines of …. “The Notebook” is the greatest movie of all time, and, clearly, Selena has impeccable taste. But, as we said before: no comment.
And somehow none of these events hold a candle to the real event that would’ve shattered the Internet to itty-bitty pieces. It involves you wearing a spiffy, polished leather jacket, looking fly as hell and a glittery red album cover font — clearly a recipe for success. It starts with “Under” and ends with “the Mistletoe,” and well, your Christmas album of 2011 rang true to its name as it did indeed have all of us wishing we were Under the Mistletoe with you, JB.
Where do we begin to describe the magic that is Under the Mistletoe? It has everything: A pump-up meets Christmas lyrical (honestly, that combination in it of itself is mind-blowing) “Drummer Boy,” guest stars practically sent from heaven (Usher, Mariah Carey — try to name more angelic vocalists) and hallowed classics such as “Silent Night.” Oh, and did we mention the catchy yet meaningful lyrics? “I don’t wanna miss out on the holiday, but I can’t stop starin’ at your face … With you, shawty with you.” Next. Level. Justin.
And frankly, Justin, all we want for Christmas is you (to make another Christmas album). We wouldn’t complain about getting a 4.0, but Santa can only do so much — he’s not a miracle worker after all.
Contact McKenna Hathaway at [email protected].