How to redeem yourself for the spring club season

Olivia Staser/File

As many freshman found out the hard way during the fall semester, club season at UC Berkeley is far from forgiving. Students often find themselves applying for more clubs than they can count to, and then they do it all over again the next semester. If you’re feeling down in the dumps about your lack of luck during fall 2018 club recruitment, the Clog is here to hold your hand and guide you to success during the spring 2019 season!

Sneak into the club photo

Forget about that rejection from Fall 2018! If you sneak into the Spring 2019 club photo, you’ll be immortalized as part of the spring class, regardless of whether you’re actually in it. If you show up to the meetings afterwards and no one has any idea who you are, just show them the club photo you’ve conveniently set as the home and lock screens on your phone and as your screensaver. They can’t deny your photographic evidence.

Apply to every single club

What do you have to lose? With UC Berkeley having over 1,200 clubs and organizations, you’re bound to get into at least one of them. However, this is only guaranteed if you apply to each and every single one of them. Don’t lower your chances by leaving even one out. Shotgun the clubs, and don’t look back.

Fake your resume

6.0 GPA, here you come! Nobody will be able to see through the minor fabrications on your resume, like you being Barack Obama’s personal trainer or Will Smith’s family therapist. As long as you don’t mess up the interview (because even with an awesome resume, you still have to go through a grueling interview process #justberkeleythings), you’re basically an auto-admit.

Accept the fact that clubs are a social construct and that your admission into a club has no profound effect on your life

It’s no secret that the clubs at Berkeley actually don’t exist outside of student interaction. There is no concrete proof that these clubs are real, apart from carefully crafted websites obviously done by a CS student and various people listing the club as experience on their LinkedIn profiles. They’re honestly just an aftereffect of capitalism. Makes sense now, right?

If these hot tips still don’t seem to work, there are always the open application clubs you can fall back on! Just get your wallet ready, and go to town. Accessibility is the key to prosperity, after all.

Contact Pooja Bale at [email protected] .