It’s Girl Scout cookie szn, and you know what that means — an endless struggle not to open up the Venmo app on your phone and succumb to spending your precious remaining funds on a box of cookies that you’re bound to finish within a day or less every time you walk through Sproul. But, if you’re going to end up spending those Venmo funds on said cookies anyway (we know you will), you might as well do it right. To help soften the blow to your bank account (as well as your health) and leave that Girl Scout cookies stand with a little less regret, read on for the Clog’s definitive ranking of Girl Scout cookies.
11. Savannah Smiles
Coming in hot in last place is, you guessed it, “the lemon one” (no, we’re not talking about Lemonades). The Savannah Smiles rank last on our list for their particular resemblance, in both looks and taste, to a small bar of hand soap. The powdered sugar is simply there to mask its soapiness (and quite frankly, it’s not doing a very good job).
10. Caramel Chocolate Chip
Gluten-free? Check. And that’s where it ends. These cookies look like the chewy Chips Ahoy! (arguably the worst type of chocolate chip cookie the food industry has ever seen), and quite frankly, they don’t taste much different. But, we’ll give it to the Girl Scouts, because they do have caramel in them and they are Girl Scout cookies after all.
Yet another member of the gluten-free Girl Scout cookies family, the Toffee-tastic sits starkly in the middle of our “meh”-o-meter. The plus side of these cookies is you get all of the flavor of the toffee that you know and love, minus the hours spent trying to get it out of your teeth afterwards.
Hear us out. If you really want S’mores, rather than paying an arm and a leg for a box of one of these, why not head over to Walgreens and grab all of the supplies needed to make your own S’mores? The Girl Scout cookie S’mores come in two versions, one double dipped in chocolate icing and the other without. While they’re good, we’re arguing that they could be just a little better.
Yes, these are a classic Girl Scout cookie — a staple of Girl Scout cookie szn, if you will. But, they’re lemon-flavored, and there was no way we, at the Clog, were letting another lemon-flavored cookie slip into the top five in this definitive ranking. While they may be nostalgic and remind you of a simpler time, we wouldn’t recommend spending the big bucks on ’em.
Now, please don’t yell at us. We know this is a controversial ranking. Sure, the shiny, smooth, chocolaty coating of the Tagalong is almost saliva-inducing — but once you put them in your mouth, it kind of goes downhill from there. The peanut butter layer inside overpowers the chocolate and you’re basically just left with a mouthful of peanut butter. Not for everyone, but still pretty good.
Trefoils are great. They’re simple, shortbread cookies with a cool design on them that come in the form of the iconic trefoil shape. Plus, since they’re just shortbread cookies without all of the bells and whistles, you won’t feel as guilty as you sit on your bed and consume the whole box in one sitting.
Possibly one of the most underrated Girl Scout cookies to ever grace planet earth, the Thanks-A-Lot, with the words “Thank You” etched into each one (in several different languages on each cookie FYI), is a must. The simplicity of the shortbread cookie with the fudge on the bottom is what makes this cookie so good. So, do the right thing and eat them all.
Move over, Ritz Peanut Butter Sandwich Crackers! Do-si-dos are the Ritz Peanut Butter Sandwich Crackers’ sweeter, yummier cousin that’s here to stay. The crunch of the oatmeal cookies squishing together a layer of creamy peanut butter is just too good to pass up, and also, too good to be true. If you like peanut butter, skip the Tagalongs and go for these.
Samoas are basically the cookies of our dreams. If you don’t like coconut, please stop reading. But if you do, get your hands on a box of these because they’re about to blow your mind (and fair warning, possibly your stomach too). The combo of the caramel, toasted coconut and chocolate drizzle is honestly astounding. Girl Scouts, we don’t know how you do it.
1. Thin Mints
Predictable? Obviously. There’s no other way to top a list of Girl Scout cookies than with the most iconic cookie of all, the Thin Mint. Buying a box of Thin Mints and consuming them all right there is perfectly acceptable (and encouraged), but throwing them in the freezer as soon as you get home and eating them as a late-night snack may be one of life’s greatest joys. The mintyness of the cookie topped with its extravagant chocolate encasing is something that can’t be missed.
Next time you see a Girl Scout cookie stand, resist resisting the urge not to buy a box or two. They’re not people flyering on Sproul! They’re carriers of joy!
Chloe Lelchuk is the blog editor. Contact Chloe Lelchuk at [email protected].