Sunday night was the 91st Academy Awards, and in true Clog fashion, it’s time for us to recap the ceremony for you in the only way we know — by comparing it to everyday life at UC Berkeley. So, now that awards season has officially come to a close with the culmination of a host-less Oscars and the announcement that the controversial film “Green Book” took this year’s best picture throne (we personally would’ve given our own paper green books the win), here are all the ways the 91st Academy Awards were just like any other day at UC Berkeley.
“Green Book”s just wouldn’t go away
While awards season has just come to a close, midterms season is in full swing. Regardless, with Julia Roberts’ announcement that the winner of best picture was “Green Book,” and with green books constantly floating around in our backpacks for our midterms these days, we just can’t seem to get away from the green books of the world. Sad!
Pizza was shown some love
If you’re a UC Berkeley student without a favorite pizza place (considering there are about a million nearby options to choose from), something’s not right. Emma Stone proclaimed her love for pizza (Artichoke’s, we’re guessing, considering the glimmering shine of her dress, which could only resemble the grease of an Artichoke’s slice) at the Oscars the other night in the form of her pepperoni pizza-esque dress. Iconic and mouthwatering, to say the least.
Umbrellas soared to new heights
Much like how the combination of the rain and strong winds here in Berkeley have nearly blown us into the sky these past few weeks, Keegan-Michael Key (as Mary Poppins) took that sentiment literally as he soared above the audience with just an umbrella in hand at the Oscars on Sunday. Ah, the power of weather!
The animals stole the show
The animals all over Melissa McCarthy’s and Bryan Tyree Henry’s costumes as they presented the award for best costume design were essentially the equivalents of squirrels crawling all over you as you sit on a bench outside of Dwinelle and attempt to enjoy your burrito from GBC in peace. And, better yet, these little critters, namely the bunny in the front, completely stole the show. It was the equivalent of your friends taking a photo of that squirrel that crawled into your lap to take a big bite out of your sandwich instead of them helping you get it off of you and away from your precious lunch.
Delusion ensued after the receiving of good news
Olivia Colman winning best actress over Glenn Close was the UC Berkeley equivalent of getting a better grade on your midterm than the know-it-all, teacher’s pet-type student in your class. The reactions to both situations are utterly indistinguishable: “This is quite genuinely, quite stressful. This is hilarious — I’ve got an Oscar” (minus the Oscar part).
The person we’ve always been rooting for finally succeeded
And by that person, we mean Spike Lee, who finally took home an Oscar for best-adapted screenplay after losing 18 times at the Academy Awards before that. It’s like when your friend finally gets into a singular club after previously having been rejected 18 times before that. Alexa, play “At Last” by Etta James.
Everyone’s OTP gloriously united — then nearly sent us into despair
Our OTP, or “one true pair,” Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper (as Ally and Jackson from “A Star is Born”), gloriously united and totally brought the house down with their performance of “Shallow” the other night. We were truly in a puddle of tears throughout the whole thing, but what really sent us over the edge was when they put their foreheads together and tricked us into thinking they were going to smooch at the end. It was almost as heartbreaking as when you set up two of your friends (or more realistically, when you’re rooting for your two favorite characters in the Netflix show you’re watching to get together) but it doesn’t work out. We’re off the deep end, watch as we dive in (to our puddle of tears).
Turns out the Oscars aren’t so different from life at UC Berkeley after all. Awards season, you will be missed. And “Green Book”s, we can’t wait to see you go soon enough.
Chloe Lelchuk is the blog editor. Contact Chloe Lelchuk at [email protected].