Clog Report: Freshman drops out to pursue comedy after receiving 4 likes on Facebook meme post

Vivian Roan/File

UC Berkeley students are known across the country for their self-deprecating humor, as expressed by the popular UC Berkeley Memes for Edgy Teens Facebook page. Roger Stanley, a freshman studying applied math, is no exception. Stanley has been active on Facebook for quite some time now, having created his account back in 2012. Last night, comedic genius suddenly struck him in his Unit 3 triple.

At 9:53 p.m., Stanley hit the “Post” button on a carefully crafted joke for the meme page, which said, “Campanile looking thicc tonight lol.” Attached was a photo of the Campanile with an edited hourglass figure.

Instead of studying for his midterm, Stanley spent hours scrolling through the UCBMFET Facebook page and came to realize that his post has, in his terms, “blown up.” The post of the thicc Campanile received four thumbs-up reacts on the meme page — one from his roommate, two from his floormates and one from his RA. This broke his previous record of two likes, which had included himself and a fake account he had made to boost his own post.

The popularity of Stanley’s post prompted him to login to CalCentral early this afternoon and immediately hit the “withdraw” button. With his newfound Facebook fame as one of the edgiest teens at this school, he intends on pursuing a full-time career in comedy. When asked to comment, Stanley referred us to his comedy manager, and roommate, Paul Evans.

“Yeah, I mean I knew Roger was funny, but I had no idea he was THAT funny. It’s crazy. I would have to say he’s the new Chris Tril of our generation. That hourglass edit on the Campanile was impeccable. I almost felt the need to ask the Campanile ‘wyd?’ at 2 a.m.,” Evans said.

As Stanley’s new manager, he is certain that his client’s Facebook fame within the meme page will attract the attention of important people in the comedy industry, such as Lorne Michaels.

One of Stanley’s former classmates, Alex Hearst, told us she “just didn’t get” the post in question. Evans assured us, however, that “comedy is highly subjective and not everyone always gets it.”

“Alex’s apathy is just a bump in the long road of success ahead of Roger,” Evans said. “He wants everyone to know that his #Haters are his #Motivators — jealousy and competition is a given with this school, especially on the meme page. We expected some harsh feedback, but with no angry reacts on his post, I mean, that just speaks for itself.”

According to Evans, Stanley will be continuing his comedic success at an open mic night in the tunnels beneath Hearst Mining Circle this Saturday. Evans gave the Clog an exclusive on his comedy show and told our reporters to be expecting a lot of relatable content in regard to skipping lectures, EECS majors not showering and Oski being Oski.

“I’m excited to see where this opportunity takes him,” Evans said. “Probably a spot on SNL next season or even as an admin on UCBMFET.”

This is a satirical article written purely for entertainment purposes.

Contact Elena Cavender at [email protected].