Quiz: Which grassy knoll should you sit on now that it finally feels like spring?

Heather Feibleman/File

Daylight saving time (and our near and dear friend, the sun, who has emerged quite recently) has done wonders for all of us. Positive vibes are in the air, temperatures are rising, KiwiBots are ablaze with heart-eyes and the grassy areas all around campus are finally primed for dog spotting, Frisbee throwing, nap taking and sitting — chilling in the general sense, if you will. So, now that the sun’s rays are shining down on all of the grassy knolls on campus and the soil is relatively dry enough to prevent those wretched mud stains on our butts, it’s time for you to decide once and for all which grassy knoll you should chill on now that it finally feels like spring.

  1. Pick a side of campus:
    1. North
    2. South
    3. East
    4. West
  2. How do you like your soil?
    1. Muddy. If I’m not leaving my grass-sitting session without a stain on my jeans, I’m doing something wrong.
    2. As Goldilocks would say, “just right.”
    3. A little dewy is fine by me. 
    4. Combo. Deadly dry in some parts, extremely moist in others. 
  3. Pick a shade of grass:
    1. A nice chartreuse. 
    2. The color of a ripe pear, please.
    3. Emerald.
    4. Just your run-of-the-mill Kelly green.
  4. What kind of atmosphere are you looking to experience as you chill on the grass?
    1. Organized chaos. 
    2. Extreme sensory overload at the very least.
    3. Dead silence. I want to be able to hear a pin drop and a bird’s poop land in the grass.
    4. I’ll tolerate a steady line of students walking around me at the top of every hour.
  5. What activity are you planning on partaking in on the grass?
    1. All of the sports.
    2. People watching.
    3. Pure relaxation.
    4. Studying for my midterm. 
  6. How allergic are you to grass?
    1. A little itch never hurt nobody.
    2. Highly allergic. I can spend about two seconds tops on grass before it’s sneeze central.
    3. I’ll need a blanket to tolerate those tall leafy blades, but otherwise I’ll be fine. I think.
    4. Not a clue.
  7.  
    1. Memorial GladeIf light green, deceivingly wet and muddy grass is your type of thing, the world-famous Glade is the spot for you. Whether you’re seeking to look completely ridiculous as you play Spike Ball with your bros or wanting to lay out while still needing to be hyperaware of all of the activity going on around you, this large grassy knoll is certainly calling your name. Or maybe that’s just your friend calling your name from the other side of the Glade as you leave Moffitt from the all-nighter you just pulled.
    2. That little patch of grass next to Sproul Hall by Sather Gate. Random, we know. But, if people-watching is totally your thing, ditch the Glade and head over here, especially if you’re short on time (and short on your tolerance for sitting in itchy grass). Just watch out for Sproulers thinking you’re just sitting there waiting for them to approach you (because let’s be real, they WILL think that) and ravenous ASUC campaigners when campaign season begins.
    3. Faculty Glade. Ah, yes. Pure silence and pure relaxation. Faculty Glade is one of the few serene and quiet parts of campus. The grass is tall and mysterious, but fear not, because if you fall asleep on Faculty Glade there’s only a one in four chance you’ll swallow a spider in your sleep and possibly get knocked down the hill by someone rolling themselves down it to ensure that 4.0.
    4. The grassy hill leading to VLSB. Academics are your thing, so why not relax and be near one of the most academic buildings of all time, VLSB? You can study for your midterm there in the next hour and people watch — tired students leaving the building after just taking their very own midterms there. Fun!

 

Chloe Lelchuk is the blog editor. Contact Chloe Lelchuk at [email protected].

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