Clog report: Student allows ASUC campaigner to walk them to class

Leonie Leonida/Staff

A campaigner for an ASUC Senate candidate was left speechless when a student passing through Sproul Plaza actually said “yes” after the campaigner asked to walk them to class to discuss the candidate.

According to Suzie Gold, she and the rest of her campaign team had been trained to expect people to say no during encounters on Sproul, so she was unprepared to deal with someone who actually responded positively.

“The campaign manager told us to ask people who walk by, ‘Hey, I can I walk with you to class to tell you about a candidate I really believe in?'” Gold said. “They told us that literally everyone says no, so I didn’t actually know what to do as I walked this person to class.”

Candidates on Sproul and those who campaign for them are often seen as a nuisance to students, particularly those hurrying to class who don’t want to be bothered and remove their AirPods to pretend to listen. One student, however, felt that they really wanted to understand the issues.

“The person campaigning said this was a candidate they really believed in, so I wanted to hear what they had to say,” said Mimi Wholeson, the student who agreed to allow the campaigner to accompany her on her way to class. “I think every candidate has really unique platforms, and I want to understand them all instead of just voting for my friends or the profile picture I see the most often.”

Wholeson noted, however, that after this encounter, she felt disillusioned by the entire process.

“The campaigner didn’t actually know the platforms, they just read them off Facebook,” Wholeson said. “Honestly, I’m not even sure if they knew the candidate’s name.”

Since the incident, senatorial and executive candidates have all sent reminders to their campaign teams that even though the chances are low, they should always be prepared to actually talk about campaign issues while on Sproul.

“I know a lot of us are just doing this to look cool and hold up posters with our faces on them for photos on Instagram, but we should take this kind of seriously,” wrote senate candidate Jeffrey Joker in a message to his campaign team. “A lot of people out here already don’t like us, so let’s not waste their time, yeah?”

This is a satirical article written purely for entertainment purposes.

Contact Hannah Nguyen at [email protected].