How to feel like you’re at Coachella when you’re stuck in Berkeley

Two people standing in front of UC Berkeley campus with Ferris wheel and signs that reads "To the festival"
Susan Lin/Staff

It’s Coachella season, and you know what that means — Instagram feeds flooded with flower crowns, filtered Ferris wheels and people who think listening to Childish Gambino makes them a hipster. If you’re getting FOMO because you’re stuck in the Berkeley grind while all of your BFFs party it up in Indio, don’t start crying yet. The Clog has put together a list of ways to make yourself feel like you’re at Coachella without dropping $500!

Dehydrate yourself

In order to enter a realistic physical experience of Coachella, you must go 48 hours without drinking water. If you are going to consume any fluids, it must take the form of lukewarm beer or Fadorade.

Get a good sunburn

The best way to do this is to stretch out on Memorial Glade until you’re burnt to a crisp. If it’s not sunny outside, you can buy one of those artificial UV lamps and use it inside. We know they can be pricey, but you’re saving money by not going to Coachella, so it basically cancels out.

Dress up in Coachella fashion

You don’t have to be at the festival to dress up like a hippie from the 1970s who splurged at the clearance section of Urban Outfitters. Roll up to Main Stacks in your fringed vest, ripped denim and daisy chains and own the style.

Take a photo on someone’s shoulders

This is almost never a good idea, whether you’re at Coachella or not, but if you truly want to recreate the reality, it must be done. Bonus points if you post it on Instagram with the caption, “The view is great from up here.”

Listen to mainstream music that’s pretending to be hipster

Coachella was originally started as a festival to celebrate indie music. Given this year’s lineup, featuring established names such as Ariana Grande and Kid Cudi, it’s safe to say the festival’s somewhat strayed from this mission. But that doesn’t mean you can’t pretend to be #cultured while listening to the star-studded lineup on Spotify. To really imitate Coachella, play all of the sweet tunes on full volume through your headphones so that when you take them out, you have that really fun ringing sensation in your ears.

Sleep in your car

If you want to commit to making Berkeley the new Coachella, you must eat, sleep and breathe Coachella. And to sleep Coachella means to sleep in your car, with no AC or private bathrooms.

Sure, some people say Coachella is a once-in-a-lifetime experience and there’s nowhere in the world like it — but with these simple steps, you can bring all of the joy, and pain, of the amazing, overly priced festival right to Berkeley.

Contact Hannah Nguyen at [email protected].