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How Coachella is just like a day at UC Berkeley

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APRIL 15, 2019

Every year, seemingly every UC Berkeley student makes the great migration down to Indio to pretend to enjoy the desert, spend $13 on a margarita and see artists whose songs they don’t know. We at the Clog feel as though we’ve basically already been to Coachella thanks to the extensive broadcasting of it on every social media platform. We also can’t help but notice the similarities between a weekend at Coachella and a day at UC Berkeley. Here are some of them:

It’s chock-full of UC Berkeley students

Come weekend two of Coachella (God forbid anyone misses Cal Day), the streets of Berkeley will be cleared, and finding a seat in Moffitt will be a piece of cake. Every single person at UC Berkeley (who we follow on Instagram) will be at Coachella. Students at Coachella will be seeing so many of their fellow Golden Bears that they’ll be wondering if they stumbled onto Sproul rather than the Sahara Tent.

You have to take the bus (with suspect company)

At Coachella, there’s a shuttle (that you have to pay extra money for) that stops at a wide variety of hotels and drops you off at the venue. It’s essentially the 51B. Both buses feature eccentrically dressed individuals who may or may not be yelling and on various drugs.

That Haas guy who’s doing something weird to beef up his resume

And by “that Haas guy,” we mean Idris Elba. Elba is a successful actor and is now channeling his inner UC Berkeley student by trying his hand at everything in order to get a leg up on other applicants, including DJing at Coachella.

You can just Course Capture it

Just like lectures, there’s no real need to go to Coachella because it is livestreamed on YouTube. So, like with our 8 a.m. classes, we’ll be sitting this one out to sleep in and wallow in stress.

That senior who still hasn’t graduated

Childish Gambino, like that literal adult in Apple Beta Pi, said his current tour would be his last, but he keeps headlining music festival after music festival, including Coachella. Although we’ll miss Childish Gambino, when you say you’ll graduate in 2019, you’ve got to commit.

We at the Clog respect all you *music lovers* for making the trek to Coachella, but we simply don’t understand it. Clearly, a weekend at Coachella is just like one at UC Berkeley, and we already pay too much for that.

Contact Elena Cavender at [email protected].

APRIL 15, 2019