Should you finish your essay or start packing up your room right now?

Elaine Chung/File

It has reached the point in the semester where we just want it to end. We know, however, that you have a couple of godforsaken papers standing in between you and a summer spent disappointing your parents — sorry that you didn’t get that internship. … Anyway, we know you’re procrastinating by reading this article, so we will help you out further! Take this quiz to find out if you should actually finish your essay or start packing up your entire room even though there are still five weeks until you get to move out!

  1. When is your paper due?
    1. In literally five minutes
    2. Not for another month
    3. On the syllabus, it says midnight tomorrow, but my GSI is making it due at 5 p.m., a whole seven hours earlier
    4. Either today or tomorrow…
  2. How is your room looking?
    1. I’ve spent the entire day avoiding my paper by cleaning my room.
    2. In perfect condition
    3. Wow, it is honestly such a wreck. I should probably do something about it.
    4. My room? I basically live at my boyfriend’s.
  3. What class is the essay for?
    1. An upper-div English class you thought would be cool but is actually whack and really hard
    2. Rhetoric 121: “Rhetoric of Fiction”
    3. My 15-page political science research paper I had the whole semester to write … oops
    4. My R1B class — I am STEM so I read and write at a fifth-grade level.
  4. Where are you from?
    1. LA
    2. SoCal
    3. Just outside of LA
    4. Born and bred in the Yay Area!
  5. What do you think of your GSI?
    1. Um … he doesn’t really teach?
    2. She’s so cool and basically goals, except for the part where she’s getting her doctorate.
    3. He’s hot, but only because he’s an asshole.
    4. I’ve never been to discussion.
  6. Is your essay going to write itself?
    1. Well, I’m not going to?
    2. LOL!
    3. I wish!
    4. YES
    1. You should definitely throw in the towel on essay writing and get to packing. It is essential you do something that does not need to be done for weeks before you write your essay due tonight.
    2. We both know that you have given yourself plenty of time to work on your essay. You probably aren’t even taking this quiz.
    3. Start packing!
    4. You need to start writing or maybe just pay someone to write it for you. We at the Clog do not trust STEM majors to write essays anyway.

Contact Elena Cavender at [email protected].