7 places to have a ‘discreet’ cry on campus

We’ve reached that point in the semester where final presentations, final essays and, if your professors are especially mean, last minute midterms are occurring. As the final week of classes begins to wrap up this semester, students are reminded of all the things they need to study for as well as the fact that maybe your grades aren’t going to get better, even though you promised yourself three months ago that this was going to be your semester. If this epiphany sounds like you, don’t fear, because we at the Clog have provided a list of seven places to shed a tear, promising some privacy.

Private glass study room in Moffitt

The glass study rooms are the perfect place to let out a good cry; they’re walled off, so unless you’re wailing, other people who are studying and likely feeling all the emotions that you’re feeling won’t hear your pain. Of course, they’ll still be able to watch you, but maybe it’ll give you some comfort to know that you’re providing entertainment to the UC Berkeley community, and who needs entertainment more than UC Berkeley?

Top of the Campanile

This tourist hot spot is a solid spot to have a good weeping sesh, as it is more than 300 feet in the air, providing a lot of privacy. Sure, there will be the occasional tourist, the student who wants to post something on their Instagram story or even the high school senior who is deciding if UC Berkeley is the right school for them. If anything though, your tears will help show them what UC Berkeley is all about. And, you get a pretty view to cry to, so what’s not to love?

Recreational Sports Facility (RSF)

First, it’s the RSF, so someone’s probably already crying because exercising can be really hard for people. Second, everyone has their headphones on, so no one will be able to hear the sound of your tears. Third, if anyone judges you for crying in an exercise environment, they’re the ones who are doing something wrong, not you. Plus, if you haven’t been to RSF, they have massage chairs, so you can cry AND get a massage at the same time. Sounds like a win-win.

One of Berkeley’s MANY boba tea shops

Berkeley has a lot of places to get boba, so why not dare to do what no one has done before and cry in one? Because there are so many, the boba drinkers are diffused across the locations, making them not too crowded and giving you some privacy to let it out. Of course, most successful business owners don’t want someone crying in their store, so they’ll probably ask you to leave, but if you spend some money and buy yourself some boba, you’ll assert your dominance, giving you free rein to deplete your tear ducts.

In a hammock on the Glade

The Glade may not sound like a good place to have a good cry because it’s a large, open area that’s in the center of campus; however, with the right location on the Glade and the necessary materials, such as a hammock, you can have a comfortable, breezy and eco-friendly cry. All you have to do is wrap yourself up in the hammock like it’s a cocoon, and no one will see you crying; they may hear you, depending on the quality and thickness of your hammock’s fabric, but they’ll probably be too high, active or tired to notice.

Sproul Plaza

Sproul is a great place to cry because there’s so much going on. Even if there’s a protest, eager youths flyering for their organization or a men’s a cappella group singing a cover of a song that you didn’t ask for, everyone is fully prepared to walk through Sproul without making eye contact with anyone. Because of this, no one will see you crying, and if they do see you, it won’t be the weirdest thing they see on Sproul that day.

Hallway in the first floor of the Student Union

Once you pass the Bank of the West area in the Student Union, you’re practically in a long empty hallway with nothing but the offices of a few Student Union groups and services, making it a discreet location to cry your heart out. People will probably be able to hear the echoes of your lamenting throughout the entire floor though, but the smells of the various restaurants will help mask your tears. Besides, as a student who pays to be educated, the Student Union literally belongs to you, and you can use it however you please.

Contact Zachary Abuel-Saud at [email protected].