Things we would rather listen to than Taylor Swift’s new song

Taylor Swift Productions/Courtesy

Taylor Swift released a new song last week and, quite frankly, it’s the worst thing we’ve ever heard. Here are some things we would prefer to hear than “ME!”:

  1. An a cappella group on Sproul
  2. “Old Town Road-Remix” by Lil Nas X featuring Billy Ray Cyrus
  3. Nails on a chalkboard
  4. Our GSI uncomfortably asking if anyone wants to participate, followed by silence, followed by him answering his own question
  5. The Stanford band
  6. Static on the TV
  7. A classmate asking a question where they just assert that they’ve been paying attention
  8. Someone chewing loudly with their mouth open
  9. Our roommate asking if we can do our dishes/take the trash out
  10. The ding of someone’s phone or laptop
  11. “Avengers: Endgame” spoilers
  12. The Crazy Frog version of “Cotton Eyed Joe”
  13. “Can you watch my laptop?”
  14. The sound of leaf blowers on Piedmont Avenue in the morning
  15. Someone yakking
  16. Your roommate hooking up with someone
  17. The Wii theme song
  18. Someone screaming at 2 a.m. outside your window
  19. “Thotiana” by Blueface for the 117th time
  20. Your alarm
  21. Someone pooping in the stall next to you
  22. The old Taylor :/

We at the Clog are sure that there are countless other things we would rather hear than Taylor Swift’s new song. Come to think of it, we would prefer listening to literally anything other* than “ME!”

Contact Elena Cavender at [email protected].