In the final week of classes, a professor observed an odd pattern of sneezing in the middle of a midterm. While every single student sneezed at least 30 times during the test, the professor deciphered that two students were sneezing at less random intervals than the rest. Noticing that the sneezes seemed to make two specific sounds in varying combinations, she deduced that the students were using Morse code, sneeze edition.
When the professor was asked for a comment, she simply said: “I’ve been here for 20 years and have never seen anything like this. I’ve seen people trying to whisper answers to each other, or text each other in the midterm, but no one has used Morse code, let alone a sneezing rendition.”
The two students, who remain unnamed for their own privacy, thought they had gotten away with it when the exam ended and neither of them had been pulled aside. Celebrating, the two walked out and started discussing plans for dead week and repeating their tactic for finals.
While the students were not caught, they did comment on different methods they could have used to make the task of sharing answers easier on them and their sinuses.
“We probably should’ve just stuck to normal Morse code. Tapping a table would’ve probably been way easier than sneezing. My nose would also be less irritated right now,” one of the punished students complained.
“To be honest, smoke signals were our best bet all along,” the other mused. “Or maybe we should use a carrier squirrel or two — they’d move too quickly to ever be caught.”
Ultimately, the professor’s detailed investigation proved inconclusive, as everyone was sneezing during the midterm. The professor commented that she would rather not interrogate each student and catch whatever deadly illness they brought to the classroom. The two students were able to successfully capitalize on the sneezing of their peers to mask their communication.
We at the Clog look forward to hearing about the other tactics these two come up with in their attempts to successfully get that A and to seeing whether they succeed.
This is a satirical article written purely for entertainment purposes.
Contact Chandini Dialani at [email protected].