Kombucha tells all: Different flavors of UC Berkeley students

Allison Fong/Staff

You all may be familiar with the kombucha craze that has recently swept the nation. You may have already picked up a bottle of it at the Golden Bear Cafe or tried the kombucha on tap at Berkeley Bowl. Whether you love kombucha for its probiotic kick or hate it for its taste, there is a little bit of fermented tea goodness for everyone to enjoy. Here is a breakdown of UC Berkeley students as kombucha flavors:

Raspberry and assorted variations

You are well liked by most people, but that’s because you try really hard to not be different. Little do you know, you actually have your closest friends because of those nuanced traits you are determined to hide during a first impression. You like the look of overalls with a turtleneck, but you couldn’t see it on yourself. In terms of your own style, you always ask yourself if it’s considered socially acceptable first. Your pleasant personality is magnetic and you might be more popular than you think.

Anything ginger

You are a complex person who can be recognized by that one habit you can’t shake off but always annoys your friends. You take the right situations seriously, but are also the type to laugh during an inappropriate time. Your favorite building on campus is LeConte Hall, and no one understands why. Sometimes you take the longest way to class just to see if you can get there before Berkeley time. Your favorite pastime on campus is to sit on Memorial Glade with your friends and listen to the drama that is unfolding in their lives. At some point you wished for some of your own drama, but after listening to all of your friends’ stories, you are glad to be out of the mess. 

Turmeric or cayenne

You have something crazy going on in your personal life at all times, but no one really knows about it unless they shake you up first, which isn’t difficult to do. Your life at UC Berkeley revolves around the motto of having no regrets. Even though you aren’t graduating soon, you feel like you aren’t making the most of your time at UC Berkeley. You have a close group of friends, but sometimes you feel like they are just tolerating you — no matter how many times they reassure you. Your favorite off-campus eatery is Mezzo and you swear by a daily multivitamin. Whenever you see a squirrel on campus, you feel as though it is the same squirrel every time. 

Citrus

There is a very chill vibe that radiates from you, and sometimes your friends find it disconcerting. Your ability to remain calm in stressful situations is mostly appealing to those who don’t realize that it’s your approach to everything. You have a lot of high expectations placed upon you, but you often find yourself carving your own path instead. You have redefined success for yourself and that keeps you going. You are probably part of an AFX team and have a lot of experience in life outside of academics. 

Peach

You are a person best described as mild. Whether that means calm or unable to come up with roasts for your friends, it is nearly impossible for you to be mean enough to save seats in Moffitt Library during finals week. You are still a child at heart and sometimes feel judged for it. In times of despair, you listen to your favorite K-pop group and drink boba. You are an icon in your own right and never fail to keep your Snapchat streaks alive. 

Kombucha is certainly an acquired taste, but so are all of us. Hopefully this article is a reminder to cherish those who stick by your side and find you amazing — despite what others may say.

Contact Malika Singhal at [email protected].