The Clog wonders: ‘Why does every fictional hot guy go to UC Berkeley?’

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We at the Clog seek to answer the age-old question: Why do so many fictional hot guys go to UC Berkeley? Let’s begin by examining all the characters who decided to attend our treasured UC Berkeley.

Perhaps the most famous is Troy Bolton from “High School Musical.” After much deliberation in the form of song and basketball-oriented dance, Troy decides to attend UC Berkeley. He announces this in one of the most dramatic scenes in cinematic history: “I’ve chosen basketball, but I have also chosen theater. That is why I have chosen the University of California, Berkeley. … but most of all, I chose the person that inspires my heart, which is why I picked a school that is exactly 32.7 miles from you.” Troy was right about one thing — we do, indeed, have a Division I basketball team. Hats off to you Troy for having a legitimate reason to attend UC Berkeley. We must, however, address UC Berkeley’s lack of a notable theater department — perhaps, like many of us, he would have been better off at UCLA? Furthermore, we investigated the alleged “32.7 mile” distance from Stanford, and our research yielded results ranging from 38.6-39.1 miles, according to Google Maps. UC Berkeley students may have more in common with Troy Bolton than they thought. They both go to a school close to what inspires their hearts, and in a UC Berkeley student’s case, it’s their rejection from Stanford.

The next subject in our case study is Matty McKibben from the MTV television show “Awkward.” Matty is the ever-dreamy, popular and athletic love interest of Jenna. At the last minute, he gets recruited to UC Berkeley for soccer because a recruit shatters his ankle. Matty struggles with his decision of whether or not to play Division I at UC Berkeley or to stay closer to Jenna and play Division II at Granite State University. Too bad he can’t get the best of both worlds like Troy. Matty ends up attending UC Berkeley, but he is disappointed with his experience — shocking! He even tries to transfer to Wyckoff, the fictional school Jenna attends. Matty is a bit of an anomaly from our other subjects because in “Awkward,” UC Berkeley is the only real school a character goes to, while the others are fictional.

Perhaps the most realistic and random example of this phenomena is Etienne St. Clair: the love interest of one of the best teen romance novels of all time, “Anna and the French Kiss” by Stephanie Perkins. We at the Clog urge you to read it if you haven’t yet. Since this is a more obscure example, here is a brief synopsis: Anna, a southern teen, is forced to study abroad in Paris during her senior year of high school. There, she meets Etienne St. Clair, a “British American boy masterpiece.” The climax of the novel involves Etienne rebelling against his father by choosing to go to UC Berkeley to study his one true passion in life: history.

Maybe we were a little dramatic in writing this article, considering we really only have three case studies. This similarity is, however, significant and deserves our analysis. Our theory is that while UC Berkeley is a prestigious university, it is still public, which makes it attainable and boy-next-door-esque. UC Berkeley can be used to demonstrate that a character is both smart and hot, but in a more alternative way compared to other well-known schools. Not to mention that it’s in California, which is characteristic of a dreamboat.

Maybe this semester we can take some inspiration from these stories, and it can be a hot boy fall.

Contact Elena Cavender at [email protected].