Clog Report: Students study by candlelight during PG&E power outage

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On Oct. 9, PG&E decided to shut down power to several large parts of Northern California, including the Bay Area, as the weather conditions were optimal for the start of a wildfire. As a result, classes at UC Berkeley were canceled for three days and students were discouraged to come to campus by the administration.

Despite many emails from Marc Fisher, UC Berkeley vice chancellor of administration, telling students to avoid campus during the power outage, they had other plans; in true UC Berkeley fashion, students defied the administration and protested by marching to campus to study — by candlelight.

Students gathered their backpacks, other study materials and many, many candles. Together, they walked to Memorial Glade to study. Even though there was no Wi-Fi and no one could use their laptops, students still found ways to make use of their time by passing around candles so they could read their notes in the darkness. Together, the students lit up Memorial Glade. In fact, it was so bright that the Clog’s correspondents at the International Space Station said the Glade could be seen from outer space.

The outage clearly brought students together as the chemistry and biology majors shared candles with engineering majors, bonding over their innate superiority and intelligence over the rest of the students. Even Haas students and media studies majors bridged their divide, putting aside their differences in their beliefs on capitalism and all-around societal well-being to share the gift of light and help each other study. Art majors and the College of Natural Resources folks were seen benevolently sharing their candles with each other, but to light up something other than their notes — casting a haze of good feelings and warmth across the Glade.

What have we at the Clog learned from this candle-lit study session? Maybe PG&E should cancel power for hundreds of thousands of households more often, as it clearly benefited UC Berkeley students and healed some divides between various groups. Most importantly, this event created an atmosphere of well-being and light across the darkness that was the rest of Northern California.

This is a satirical article written purely for entertainment purposes.

Contact Zachary Abuel-Saud at [email protected].