The tale of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” is almost as ubiquitous as chocolate itself. To celebrate this sweet annual holiday, we have meticulously crafted student descriptions for each of the main characters in the book and movies as if they went to UC Berkeley.
As a student at UC Berkeley, Mike Teavee would definitely be a top League player on campus. Literally nothing will stop him from becoming the world champion for the third year in a row. He is a computer science major, but only because he already stares at a computer screen for the majority of the day anyway. Mike is a bit of a skeptic; he doesn’t believe that the due date of a project is coming up until literally the day it’s due. Most of his friendships began and thrived from mutual roast battles. If he isn’t home, he is probably glued to a chair in the esports facility in Foothill.
Violet is a huge advocate for gender equality and never fails to maintain a consistent routine for her life. Setbacks have little to no effect on her, but sometimes her unbridled curiosity for the unknown leads her to shocking realizations of life. Violet teaches an aerobics class every Wednesday in the Recreational Sports Facility, and always gets really into it. In discussion sections, Violet always has a question to pick the GSI’s brain with.
He is the guy that sits quietly in the front row of lecture and takes careful note of everything. Charlie is the kind of student that takes nothing for granted and appreciates the little things on campus, such as the playful squirrels or magnificent oxidation on Sather Gate. He is an integrative biology major and has been fascinated by the outdoors since the first time he went camping in third grade. Charlie has a large family, most of whom are UC Berkeley alumni themselves.
Veruca would own at least one item from Gucci, Prada, Louis Vuitton, et cetera … EACH. She has a keen sense of fashion and expensive taste. When it comes to choosing the best cheese to buy at the Cheese Board Collective, Veruca usually refers to just the price and concludes that the more expensive cheese is the most worth it. The squirrels on campus are very distracting, and Veruca is determined to domesticate them all and train them to create a protective barrier around her during flyering season.
Augustus is always chilling in line for the grand opening of any new eatery in town. He is a member of the Elite Squad on Yelp and runs a food blog that is comparable to the UC Berkeley meme page. He is a nutritional sciences and toxicology major, and can’t get enough of it. His answer to what will bring world peace is food. During break, Augustus works in his family-operated schnitzel restaurant in his hometown.
Grandpa Joe is the kind of person at UC Berkeley that says they are going to fail a test multiple times during a study session but gets the best grade in the class at the end. When he’s not in class, you’ll find him sleeping in his Unit 2 loft bed.
Many of us probably have related to one of these characters in particular at some point in our childhood. For many of us, Johnny Depp will always be Willy Wonka, but deep inside, we all know Gene Wilder is the true king of chocolate. Take a break from studying for midterms and have some of the chocolate you were saving for Halloween festivities!
Contact Malvika Singhal at [email protected] .