What UC Berkeley should put on its own streaming service

Illustration of Oski hosting a TV show
Armaan Mumtaz/Staff

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Disney+ releases this week, which means there will be a new streaming service that you’ll probably access to through your parents’ account. The new streaming service will probably make Disney plenty of money, which begs the question: Why doesn’t UC Berkeley set up its own premium streaming service? Here are some platform-exclusive shows that it could have.

Oski

Like the talk show “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” but instead it’s hosted by our lovable (if sometimes a bit creepy) mascot, Oski. He’ll give tips on how to show school spirit, make quick snacks out of the food you smuggle out of the dining halls and use your commute as a way to exercise. If you’re at a live taping, you might even get a gift of some free textbooks or an early class registration slot.  

Descendants

Not the series of Disney Channel original movies, but instead an original television series following a group of UC Berkeley and Stanford legacies during their time in college. Will they be able to put their parent’s pasts behind them or will they go for each other’s throats? You’ll have to watch to find out.

The UC Berkeley Diet

During Reading, Review and Recitation Week, a student ate a bad wrap and now craves some human flesh. She’ll have to balance studying for exams with being a man-eating zombie, often to hilarious results. Each episode, she’ll try a new ridiculous plan to get some human flesh, avoid being caught or just motivate herself to study. This show will bring a whole new meaning to the term “dead week.”

Air Bear

In this movie, a weird forgotten rule in the NCAA lets a bear play on the UC Berkeley basketball team. This new fur-covered star player will have to shape up if the team is going to win the championship. Make sure not to miss the sequels, “Air Bear 2: Bear-terback” where our bear protagonist joins the football team in an attempt to win the Big Game, and “Air Bear 3: Un-bear-water” where the bear joins the swim team.

Dysphoria

The HBO show “Euphoria” is filled with parties, drugs and interesting characters. The only parties the UC Berkeley show, “Dysphoria,” will have are study parties, and the only drug is caffeine. It may be a teen drama, but all the characters have adult problems. “Dysphoria” is an extreme look at college life, but that’ll make the drama even better.

Here’s to hoping that one day UC Berkeley will decide to make a streaming service and give some of these shows a chance. If it does, it would be nice if it were included with our tuition — that way, we wouldn’t have to watch it through our parents’ account.

Contact Zachariah Nash at [email protected] .