About two weeks ago, UC Berkeley celebrated its first ever Instructional Resilience Week. Now, all UC Berkeley students are resilient to some degree, as filling out the UC application in and of itself requires mental toughness, but this week was in honor of educating professors and instructors on how to put lectures online, so students could still learn without leaving their bedrooms. We at the Clog commend the administration for putting in the work, so we’ve created our own week’s worth of instructional resilience lessons, but instead, for students; so, whether you’re a meager freshman or a mighty senior, we’re sure these lessons will be relevant to you.
Monday — Navigating
Our first lesson of the week will focus on navigating your way through campus. Whether you’re the annoying slow walker or the electric skateboard rider whose board is crying for help as they try to zoom up a hill, there are many challenges to getting around campus. Not only do you have to deal with the elevation that rivals the climb up Mount Everest, but you have to dodge bikes, scooters and skateboards; much like Everest, you’ll be lucky if you survive your journey to the top.
Tuesday — Flyering
The second lesson of our resilience week revolves around the dreaded flyer-filled walk on Upper Sproul Plaza. If you’re tired of having random pieces of paper shoved in your face, we have a few methods to help you. First, you can wear sunglasses and headphones and not stop for anyone or anything. Or, you can simply avoid Sproul altogether. You can also pretend to not speak English, but beware, there are a lot of polyglots at UC Berkeley, so make sure the language you pretend to speak is obscure.
Wednesday — Rejection
While everyone who goes to UC Berkeley clearly got accepted, they are no strangers to rejection. First off, there seem to be a billion people who want to major in computer science, but let’s be real, you’re all not going to get into the major. Second, class registration is a nightmare that’ll leave you more unsatisfied than your last sexual partner. Finally, getting into certain student clubs is harder than getting into UC Berkeley. So if you’re planning on applying to any clubs or organizations, be ready to face some rejection.
Thursday — Caffeine
Some students have some sort of caffeine addiction or dependence. Caffeine, for the most part, is in just about everything: coffee, tea, boba, yerbas, coffee ice cream and so much more. Whether you have an all-nighter to pull for a midterm that you should’ve started preparing for weeks in advance or you just need a little something to get you out of bed in the morning, what cookies are to the Cookie Monster is what caffeine is to some UC Berkeley students.
Friday — Attendance
While it seems like an unexpected way to end the week, going to class is important. Anyone knows that once you skip a lecture, it becomes so much easier to skip it again. Going to class though? That takes resilience, especially considering everything that has happened in the past month or the recent drop in temperatures. Whether you went out Thursday night or just wanted to start your weekend early, the thought of attending Friday class isn’t easy. Being that the end of the semester is nearing, it’s now more important than ever to be resilient and go to class! Get your money’s worth! Eat that cupcake! Just do it!
Saturday and Sunday — Rest
Rest, because even though you’re a UC Berkeley student and the word “rest” isn’t really in your vocabulary, you’ve earned it. While Oski may never really hibernate, we at the Clog give you our seal of approval to take a nap. Take two days to rest up, Golden Bears — you deserve it!
Contact Zachary Abuel-Saud at [email protected].